:::all things bright and beautiful:::

Homeward Bound

2010-12-05T15:52:00.004+05:30

||Yoga of Imperishable Brahman|| Said Arjuna: "O Purushottama, what is that Brahman, What is Adhyatma (inner Self) and what is karma ? What is said to be Adhibhuta (the primeval being ) and what is referred to as Adhidaiva (the Supreme Deity)?"

Said Lord Supreme: "Indestructible and beyond all is Brahman. Ones own self is called Adhyatma. The cause behind the creation of all the beings is called karma. Adhibhuta is by nature destructible. The Purusha (the Manifested Supreme Self) is Adhidaiva. And certainly I am Adhiyagna in the body, O best of the embodied.

Always thinking of the Creator, the Ancient, the Ordainer, One who is smaller than the atom, the upholder of all, the unthinkable (beyond thought).....

....At the time of death, with unwavering mind, engaged in devotion, by the strength of Yoga, establishing the prana (breath) completely between the two eye brows, he attains the Divine and transcendental Personality of Brahman.

=========================

How did the meaning of all this part from my soul? That I need words today to search for the meaning of something so deep within me and within all.

Old Hindi Songs - Melodious Poetry, Reflective Voices of a Generation, Simple Philosophy

2010-02-22T22:54:00.004+05:30

Gulzar - Lyricist

Ek Akela Is Shahar Mein Raat Mein Aur Dopahar Mein
Aabodaana Dhoondta Hai Aashiyana Dhoondta Hai

In Umar Se Lambi Sadkon Ko Manzil Pe Pohonchte Dekha Nahin
Bas Daudti Phirti Rahti Hain Humne To Theherte Dekha Nahin
Is Ajnabi Se Shahar Mein Jaana Pehechana Dhoondta Hai
Ek Akela Is Shahar Mein…

:::: very difficult to translate::::: :(

One lonely man in this town, in the night and afternoon

Searches for water and food (a livelihood) and a home

Never see these roads that are longer than age

Ever reach a destination

Just running and winding everywhere but I've never seen them stop anywhere

In this town of strangers searches for a familiar

One lonely man in this town...

:::::::: found a lovely post when writing this one::::::

Sahir Ludhianvi - Lyricist

Main Zindagii Kaa Saath Nibhaataa Chalaa Gayaa

Har Fikr Ko Dhuen Mein Udaataa Chalaa Gayaa

Barabaadiyon Kaa Sog Manaanaa Fizuul Thaa
Barabaadiyon Kaa Jashn Manaataa Chalaa Gayaa
Main Zindagii...

Gam Aur Khushii Mein Fark Na Mahasuus Ho Jahaan
Main Dil Ko Us Muqaam Pe Laataa Chalaa Gayaa
Main Zindagii...

i went on partnering with life

i have gone on blowing up my worries in smoke

it was futile to mourn failures/destruction

i have gone on celebrating them

where i can't feel the difference between happiness and sadness

I have gone on taking my heart to that destination

:::::: more to come soon:::::

The Desiderata of Happiness

2010-02-02T11:02:00.001+05:30

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

~ Max Ehrmann

Moses Manoranjan Kumarswamy

2009-07-31T11:20:00.007+05:30

The Morning Star whispers to Dawn,
"Tell me that you are only for me."
"Yes," she answers,
"And also only for that nameless flower."

~ Rabindranath Tagore (fireflies)

Mentor. Father-figure. Partner in mischief. Stereotypical wise old man. Boss.

He meant all these things for me and more. Above all, he meant hope, for me and countless others from all walks of life.

A typical interaction with him would be like the lines above. You can demand anything from him.. and he responds.. with acceptance, respect, and a zinger following the "yes", which expands the perspective and humbles you.

Now I'm finding him in me and in all things around me. I think I now understand life and death, and their relation to each other to some extent.

My ideas for better governance

2009-07-13T23:11:00.004+05:30

My work with rural women has taught me:

That meeting with all the people in the village, once a month, is an integral part of village councils (simple enough.. but does not happen as fairly or often as it is supposed to)
Networking with your representatives in the governance and administration bodies is very useful
You don’t need to hold a post in governance to have power to change things (They shared that their main aim of standing for elections were to affect social change and develop their village’s infrastructure. Now, many of them are no longer holding a formal post in the council but no way in hell does that stop them from continuing to affect social change. They shared the power of networking and representing the wish of the people as a social representative.)

Also, I think somewhere, the government is also looking for friendly, conscious citizen to partner with to make its work easier. (yeah I still have my rose tinted glasses on) J

So, I don’t see why the same model can’t be (or atleast tried) on scale. Let us suppose you are a, corporator, representing your Ward in a metro like Bangalore.

Let us say you break down your ward area further into areas and further into zones, each with a manageable number of population (what is a manageable number is determined by your resources).

Ward > Area > Zone

Would 6 months be enough (of a 5 year term) for you to get a basic profile (name, occupation, contact details) of each person in each zone in your ward?

How nice would it be then to hold Ward council meetings zone-wise to truly represent those who have voted for you?

HOLD IT! Reality check. What are the constraints?

1. Time people would be willing to invest in coming to your “meeting”

2. Money / logistical problems to come to the meeting

3. Managing to actually give all present a fair hearing

Thankfully as I’m not communicating this in a formal proposal, I can afford to overlook logical loopholes (I’m sure there will be others who have a skill to spot them) and allow flight of fancy to take me a little further into hypothetical solutions to these.

1. Time willingly spent to work WITH your government is not something that will happen over night but maybe, just maybe, getting an email from your ward representative (who knew we even had one!) might rouse the curiosity of a few. For those who are not email-accessible, a phone call or sms inviting them to meet with their representative might just work. Having food at the meetings will certainly help (food always help :p )

2. Have you seen the free open top double decker buses that ferry across people who want to see Bangalore? Well that was a swell idea and I’m pretty sure that with the power of networking between corporates and corporators facilitating free travel to the meeting and back shouldn’t pose as much a problem (that is not counting if maybe there actually might be budget that can be set up for it)

3. A written comment form and scribes for those who cant write to ensure it is recorded for review. Addressing the most commonly occurring and (in the eyes of the corporator and his advisory committee) important suggestions/issues/feedback can be shared and review of the action items of the previous meeting can be done too (hopefully there will be something positive to share on this front!)

These were some of the thoughts that formed in my head today when I thought of being part of this administration/governance system that I so easily blame (atleast once a day). Then I got in touch with the fact that I needn’t BE in power to do this. I can, as a good citizen, offer my ideas and services to make this into a reality.

I don’t know how much this sounds like an illogical, bordering on sci-fi, plan but it gave me happiness to think that this is possible.

programmed to receive

2009-03-05T22:26:00.002+05:30

I woke today morning feeling loved. I have never felt that before. Ever. I could feel all the love that people close to me have for me.. in all its warm glory. It was a lovely feeling. Me thinks me has finally learned to receive.. with grace.

All our lives we are taught to be givers. So much so.. that sometimes.. even if all the people lay their best selves at our doorstep we become too "lazy" to open the door to see them.. to acknowledge them..

Too accustomed to 'giving' and feeling good about ourselves.. too busy playing 'victim' ('i only give and give.. nobody seems to care when it is my turn to get!')

.. sometimes some people can actually make us acknowledge that we are definitely recieving something from them .. but somehow it doesn't satisfy us.. we didn't get it when we really needed it from whom we needed it.. so why accept it now? Isn't is easier to go on playing 'victim' and rage against the world.. against ourselves that we are not getting what we 'deserve', that we are oh so alone?

It is worth looking at how similar being unable to receive is to being unable to give. selfish people versus 'selfless' people.. two sides of the same coin?

where is the balance the harmony? ..to be able to trust and say.. yes i have received this from you with gratitude.. thank you. and not feel obligated. just feel happy. loved.

Next time I find myself tripping all over myself trying to prove to myself I'm not selfish, I'm a sensitive soul who needs to ensure the other person is not put through any trouble because of me... i'll be sure to give my ear a hard yank.. and remind myself to smile.. and say thank you, i accept it.

chew! chew! chew!

2008-11-15T13:47:00.001+05:30

i realize i have to start somewhere if i'm ever gonna start this again. and maybe the best way is to not think at all but to just go ahead with it. to not pressurize it into being but just allow it to come forth in whatever form and be ready to accept it.

i am swollen with learnings. i wrote about minilives and life seems to have taken it upon itself to satisfy my desire to know, learn, and live till i cry out "enough". i never thought i would say enough, but i realize now that i have to. For any of them to be of any worth i can't stuff it in my mouth like a stubborn child who jousts with food in an everyday battle. i have to allow each learning to be born. chew till it is digestible. digest till it is a part of my bloodstream. else it is all but a pile of shit.

it is not easy to chew. i remind myself and diligently chew on my learnings but i'm afflicted by the same condition as the child with its mouth, full of food, hanging open in wonder at a passing bird or a mooing cow.

i want to be a computer and not a hard disk. so i twist and turn my head refusing more learnings till i have swallowed (and hopefully not choked on) what i've already bitten off.

A Bubble's Song

2008-08-31T21:06:00.003+05:30

A bubble round, pretty, and new
Liked colors red, green, and blue
As it made its way across the skies
And came into the web of lies
Touched it did with a baby’s wonder
All the things over and under
They gave it color and it glowed
As a multi-hued bubble it flowed
Till one day it thought, “I say!
There are too many colors in me that play!”
It kept a few and threw some out
Felt lighter, yet a shade of doubt
“I only reflect the colors I see
But what are the true hues of me?
When will I learn to dance alone?”
So thinking, it felt sad and forlorn
Came it did to firelight
Was entranced and stayed the night
The light shone through and helped it see
The beauty of its transparency
“No color in me does not mean I’m empty”
So knowing the bubble was joyful and glee

Such is the simple truth of life
Know thyself and know no strife
Many times we think we know
Forget we continue to learn on the go
May this bubble and its song
Remind us this all life long.

Street Sexual Harassment - Survivor? Perpetrator? or Spectator?

2008-07-30T08:27:00.005+05:30

The public on the street comprises of those who 'experience' street sexual harassment, i.e. the survivors; those who cause street sexual harassment i.e the perpetrators and those who witness street sexual harassment i.e the spectators.

Blank Noise Spectators Special asks members of the public, both men and women to share what they witnessed. What was your first reaction? Was it to intervene? Was it to ignore? What did you do? What would you rather have done? Can you share your thoughts about being a spectator. If you have been a 'special spectator' , that is, intervened in the situation, please tell us how! Was it with wit and humor? Or did physically assault the 'perpetrator'? Did you walk away? Or call the cops? Or gather a crowd? Or see another spectator take charge of the situation and participate in any way.

To participate in this online event please register by emailing us at blurtblanknoise at gmail dot com subject titled Blank Noise Spectators Special. Link this post to your blog, and send in your blog address. We will add you to the list below. Deadline for your post on being a spectator is August 15th.

IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A BLOG: no problem. what matters is your point of view. Register with us via email anyways. We will publish your ideas on the Blank Noise blog on Aug 15.

This event hopes to be one in the series of events planned in bringing together 'survivors'(http://blanknoiseactionheroes.blogspot.com), 'perpetrators' (male only event coming soon) and 'spectators'.

It’s all about self worth

2008-04-14T16:57:00.003+05:30

Everything I feel, everything I say or do are listed as symptoms of a disease. Then who is me?

Between preparing some questions for elected women and some others for kids getting ready to leave school and face the big bad world of work...I have been questioning myself and life some too (so what's new)

So what I’ve been learning lately from life is (apart from the fact that not having a corporate salary sucks) it truly is all about self worth. Your reality, the way you react to yourself and the world, and the way the world reacts to you. It’s all based on self worth.

How much do you think you're worth?

How do you know your self worth?

How do you go about increasing it?
(not false affirmation, validation, or celebrating oneself... I mean I really doubt that working for me)

What will you have to let go of to be happier and stronger as an individual with a healthy amount of self worth?

How do you decide what's a healthy amount of self worth and what is selfishness?

Answers to these seem a little long way off. My hope is I’m atleast asking the right questions.

... from the land of hope

2008-02-23T19:36:00.003+05:30

I have been lucky, honored (and all those corny sounding words whose meaning is nonetheless genuine and appropriate here) to be part of a training session for elected women from gram panchayats (village governance) of different states.

So the latest update from our quite forgotten villages is "hope". The villages from some regions it seems have kept up with changing times. Some however (esp. Bikaner) are still catering to the stereotypical thoughts of "village life" in our heads. They are still struggling with survival issues - water, food, basic health amenities.

Hope, though, blooms. These women, some literate, many not have learned and shared through songs, movies, and discussions. They learned about their roles and responsibilities, they became aware of gender inequalities... the rules and traditions that enforce them. They realigned their thinking and fought with social conditioning in their heads. They shared experiences (which were similar... after all people are people everywhere). They derived immense strength from being together and from all the similar situations, challenges, problems they faced.

How many will cause a major positive impact once they return remains to be seen but the very fact that there is such an encouraging start towards a better future at the grassroot level makes me happy.

I could feel that the place of learning and the organization was like an epicenter. The ripples of all things good and positive in the form of these informed women spreading to the far corners of our country forms a pretty pattern in my head.

minilives

2007-12-28T15:52:00.000+05:30

so i was born 26 years ago. i don't know why. nobody asked me. i just was.

it took me quite sometime to figure out how things worked around here. it didn't help that

i didn't agree with most of it.

i vaguely remember my first day of school when i had clarity of thought and purpose in

life. i had to protect my new best friend (ratna.. i think) from the new found class bully

(her name was pinky). i thought i had it all figured out then.

my childhood and preteen years were painful. i used to be happy and content with such

little and simple things. why painful then? coz i stumbled upon a new threat to my happy

life.. something called "rules". the best analogy i can think of is minesweeper. so there i

was happy to skip from one square to the next... delighted to discover the pretty numerals,

even if they didn't make sense or mean anything, watch the pretty colors.. and BOOM!

everything blows up in my face coz i failed to do something according to the rules. normal

expectations from normal parents and a normal society took on proportions of an evil plan,

a plan meant to lull me into peace just to shock me again and again. so i screwed up a lot

coz i was partially deaf and blind to rules that everybody was just supposed to know.

but life wasn't all that bad. i always got a fresh start. so i told myself it was ok to

screw up coz you can always begin afresh. i thought i had it all figured out then.

cut to the recent past...

life's good. life's happy... so happy infact it's a li'l unreal... therefore BOOM! why? coz

i'm comfortable with screwing up, picking up the pieces, and moving on to a fresh start.

gives me a purpose in life you see. gives me a nice comforting illusion that things are

getting better and i'll do better with the next chance than i did with the last. who knows!

and there's death to think about! i mean how can we not think about death? i've never

really found a satisfactory answer or meaning to existence so maybe this blink of a life is

all we get. so..

how can i not live as many lives as i can in it?

minilives. a million desires. cramming it in like i'll starve for life after death.

choosing to live better with each iteration. thought this was it. how could this mean i did

not have things figured out? i obviously did.

but then there was a pause. a glitch.

we all have a perfect picture of the ideal. the ideal self, the ideal answer, the ideal

love, person etc. etc. it's clearer when we are young, more objective. gets muddled and

dirtied with subjective wants as we grow up.. as we learn to not expect too much even in

that imaginary ideal that we create in our minds.

so do you know what happens when reality exceeds expectation of a person who has learned

the hard way to derive comfort from things in imagination and in thought coz there is no

way reality can ever match it? it pisses them off!! that's what it does.

i was/am pissed. i crave a fresh start after screwing up but now suddenly i know it won't

satisfy me anymore. i have glimpsed at a more mature way of life. so i know now i have to

make it my purpose, the walk down that calm path which offers different joys than the ones

i've been used to. yeah bloody pissing off. but i will do it. coz just one minilife is

enough if i try a li'l harder and make it worth the while. i think.

do i have it all figured out yet? :|

I'm constipated

2007-11-23T00:14:00.001+05:30

I swear that has to be it. My life has actually been interesting the past few months. Lot's of things have happened including increased frequency of moments where I feel content. So why haven't I shared and cared? No clue why not... my hands just refused to write what my mind felt and wanted to express. There was some serious brain-hand disconnect. (I've always known I've serious problems with hand-eye coordination... I mean.. I am the only one I know who has accidentally slapped oneself :| but this brain-hand disconnect is new shit.)

So I have taken some serious steps to get back to spewing my stuff out in the open... where it belongs :)

Step 1: I have started blog surfing again. (and here's my first non-post already!)

Step 2: Keeping at it. Please point me to some interesting blogs and posts.. I really think this community thing works.. you go see some blogs where some guy has crapped some interesting thoughts, it makes you think, "hey! I want to crap too!" and before you know it there is a fresh pile of interesting thought poo for all of you :D

Step 3: WIP..

PS -

Sorry if I offended anybody's delicate sensibilities with all the shitty imagery and metaphors
I don't actually have a problem with the regular kind of constipation :|

Insights

2007-09-03T17:55:00.000+05:30

I have undone a knot! My problem is that i like people.. and because i'm mostly around people i like my defenses are weak.. i don't really need them. So when i come across B&Bs (bastards and bitches) i'm left bleeding.

Today i spent some time with people i dislike and as each minute passed by i could observe how my behavior was more inline with people who have good defenses rather than being typically me.

So is the solution to my problem to hang out with more people i dislike?

Dilemma -

More time with people i like = me happy but my defenses are weak
More time with people i dislike = me depressed but my defenses are strong

Twilight

2007-08-30T11:38:00.000+05:30

The marriage of light and dark
Makes the restless soul still, momentary
Out of the transition is born fear and a spark
They consume the helpless and the genius alike.

self

2007-08-16T23:25:00.001+05:30

"OMG! I'm ugly!" *cringe*

"I'm a bloomin genius. People haven't realized my worth yet."

"I'm such a good person. How can they say such things about me?"

"I can't believe I did this.. how can I be so dumb.. how come others haven't realized I'm a moron?"

"I have battled with life and emerged a victor. People need to learn from my example."

"I deserve better. I'm above all this crap. I'm waaay too cool for this."

"hey! I'm looking good. I think I can stare at myself all day. Where's the bloody camera when you need one.."

"Am I a bad person?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation"

~ J.Krishnamurti

try and wrap your pea brain around this one!

2007-07-16T21:39:00.000+05:30

..and here you thought I let my life in the real world interfere with my blogging eh? you thought my blog was interesting sometime back but is kinda slow now? oh.. but you were so wrong..

see, hear, understand, absorb the tenth dimension and when you have figured how to articulate words again..

...naah. too much hype. just go watch it. it's gooooooood.

note: please wait for it to load completely before watching it.

sweet stuff

2007-06-21T22:31:00.000+05:30

I can't believe my blog so far doesn't have a post about food! I mean.. somebody give me an award or something! :)

I was just thinking of all the memories associated with specific candies. I've listed some of the sweet treats that are an integral, inseparable part of my childhood.

10 paisa chocolate
This was a coconut + some beige chewy thing that wasn't caramel confection. It was wrapped in a transparent paper with white lettering. People would come home and surprise us kids with this. yumm..

KaLLekai peppermint
Candied peanuts. White and red. Always fought for the red ones. Usually ran from the shop to the park and settled there on the bench for a good hour relishing some 15 odd candies.

Sweet cigarette
They were all white and chalky to taste. Had a red colored tip (to imitate a lit ciggie). We were an ultra cool gang with a ciggie in each tiny mouth. And ofcourse there was the added bonus of licking the red end and applying the color on our lips.
A ciggie + a candy + a lipstick... how can any kid not like that!

Joker
A small cardboard box with a joker's smiling face on one side and when you pull a piece of the box the joker's face would open and tiny red candy balls roll out! Awesome! The joker face was a li'l scary (I used to be scared of all jokers and clowns more of that here... but it had candies inside.. so I guess I got over it) :) I didn't like the color of my hands after eating them though. A weird red/pink. blechh.. :(p

Kuttundi
Tamarind balls.. *droooooool* The best part of any summer was stealing into the kitchen, opening the box of tamarind, getting salt, sugar, spice and mixing them in the right proportion and dividing it carefully among the drooling lot. We'd wait for the mixing and dividing expert with small sticks in our hands. The balls go on the sticks and woo... it's pure bliss for the next hour.

So.. what did you grow up on my dearies?

Something's right with the world today

2007-05-31T12:49:00.000+05:30

Wednesday morning. I'm happy. I have no clue why. It could be because:

a very close friend is getting married
i'm in training (as opposed to working) and doing well
i'm going for the aerosmith show

But if I had to be truthful I've had plenty of times in life when I had reasons to be HAPPY but have not really felt like being happy. And there have been times like today when I feel amazing. If life was an MMORPG this would be when the character that plays "you" obtains the happiness bubble. 100 points to you! :)

In my typical style I blame everything on the hormones..

feeling blue? these damn hormones
feeling great? hmm.. must be the hormones
feeling like killing someone? kissing someone? some country was bombed? damn.. these hormones

Kinda makes you think doesn't it? We choose to be blue.. then again maybe its just genetic.

Must.. Blog.. Now..

2007-05-22T16:20:00.000+05:30

*phew* finally!

Why have we all stopped blogging? I ask all my fav blogger buddies to take on this question and answer it with the most creative excuses they can come up with. My excuses:

I forgot English for a bit
Some cute minimousyas abducted me and made me their goddess (idea courtesy ice age II)
The author of my life was out on a smoke break

the shittiest day in a long time. so glad it’s over.

2007-04-18T23:19:00.000+05:30

I’ll try my best not to turn this into a crib session. I’m just trying to understand and make sense of a few things here.

Why do people wish ill of others? Why do they envy and take actions to ensure the target is at a desirable level of unhappiness? I’m not talking about people who know me and wish their life was more like their perception of my life. I’m talking about people who are perfect strangers taking pains to pass the word around to ensure my spirit and good cheer is dulled if not killed. I mean… why should my existence bother them at all? I do not see how I impact their lives in anyway other than being in their vision for a few minutes in a day. I do not understand.
Why should this hurt me? They are strangers after all… it is not someone close to me betraying me so why should it hurt? Why should perfect strangers’ skewed perceptions affect me so? Why? Their existence should not matter to me. Even if they are so desperately trying to impact my life it should be easy for me to shrug off the stupidity, right? So why then am I feeling so shitty?

So does this mean I’ll back down? Ha! I’m too pig headed for that. But do I have the emotional strength to show them the finger and live my life the way I always have? I don’t think so. So will I survive this crazy “rebelling, falling down, picking up the pieces and rebelling some more”? I’ll keep you posted.

tickle tickle

2007-04-03T17:31:00.000+05:30

When was the last time you laughed?

No. Not smiled. Laughed. Laughed till your tummy ached. Laughed till you continued laughing coz you just couldn't stop.

Do you even remember what has the power to make you laugh like that?

A few days ago, I was asked by somebody to laugh loudly and uncontrollably so she could shoot it on film for a project she was working on. I tried. I tried hard and failed. I just couldn't laugh and what's worse I got depressed coz it'd gotten so hard to laugh. It wasn't till I spent some time with my cousin that I realized I still could get silly and laugh really hard. I'm so grateful for her existence in my life and that I have given her the power to make me laugh.

I'm still a li'l shaken up that I can't laugh. It feels like life crept up on me when I wasn't looking and stole my silly/goofy times and my ability to laugh uncontrollably. Grrrr....

Why I love Persona

2007-03-15T12:35:00.000+05:30

Don't you think I understand? The hopeless dream of being. Not seeming, but being. Conscious at every moment. Vigilant.

At the same time the chasm between what you are to others and to yourself. The feeling of vertigo and the constant desire to at last be exposed. To be seen through, cut down, perhaps even annihilated. Every tone of voice a lie, every gesture a falsehood, every smile a grimace. Commit suicide? Oh, no. That's ugly. You don't do that.

But you can be immobile, you can fall silent. Then at least you don't lie. You can close yourself in, shut yourself off. Then you don't have to play roles, show any faces or make false gestures. You think...

But you see, reality is bloody-minded.

Your hideout isn't watertight. Life seeps in everything. You're forced to react. No one asks if it's real or unreal, if you're true or false.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How can anybody not love this movie? How can anybody not relate to these lines. These lines define my sense of reality so well that I'd probably not understand how somebody could not relate to these lines.

Blank Noise Blogathon!

2007-03-05T16:42:00.001+05:30

share. talk. inspire. understand. tell. speak. hear. be heard. narrate. voice. throw open.

When did you flip a situation so you could resist, when did you give back as hard as you got? When and how did you choose to confront? When did you become an Action Hero?

Here's what Shwetha Shenoy, my colleague & an awesome action hero, wants to share:

This is one of the incidents I can never forget!! Coz I was involved.

I travel by bus. As usual I got into a bus n two stops later this gal aged about 22yrs follwed by a middle aged guy got in.. I was sitting. That gal was standing just opposite to me n was busy over phone. I noticed that the guy was standing right behind her n was tryin to touch her!!! I was shocked. Then, thought (1st time) he must ve done that by mistake.. But then, I saw he continued doing the same n the gal din't even notice.. that was all I could take. I shouted at the guy asking him to go behind as there was enough space available. The guy answered back askin me, what my problem was n I had a seat n why his standing in the front was bothering me??!!!! I lost my temper n said, I'm gonna complain about it. Probably he understood/ he didn't understand, I'm not bothered. Coz the guy went back n stood away from that gal. Later he got down before the bus reached the main bus terminal. Else he would've had it!! The gal dint even notice all this happening in the bus!!!

After we (me n that gal) got down, I went n spoke to that gal n asked her to be more careful n keep her eyes open while traveling in the bus.

--------------------------------------------------------------

So where's my story? I'm ashamed to say that I don't have one. All the incidents mostly happened when I was in school. I had no clue that I could yell back or react in a way that would put the bad guy on the defensive. My goal every time it happened was to get away from there as fast as I could. Maybe that's why Blank Noise has had such an impact on me. I'm finally standing up for myself and my space and my rights.

There have been a few small incidents here and there recently and I've found myself more than capable of flipping the situation, but my heart bleeds for that li'l girl I was in the past.

So I'm gonna talk about it and blog about it and share all I can..

..and I'll wish..

I wish more women are not afraid (of men, of society, of being physically weaker)
I wish more women discover their potential and be themselves

To participate:

1. announce the event
2. blog your story
3. email about it and BNP will link you right away!

Email: blurtblanknoise@gmail.com

films on Sex, Desire, and the Human Nature

2007-02-26T18:07:00.000+05:30

I saw shortbus. Yes I did. And I loved it like I knew I would. If you think it is a porn flick… stop watching the movie, don’t lay your hands on it… take a few years time to grow up and mature as an open minded individual and then start watching it.

It is a nice movie with some insightful thoughts and observations. I can only hope we have more of such movies coming out (the insightful observations part not necessarily the free spirited sex part).

The movie (strangely) reminded me of Samsara… another movie with some awesome philosophy and thoughts on the same subject. In my head these two movies form amazing dual-hued arc lights of perceptions on the topic of sex and human nature worth absorbing and exploring. (woo… lack of sleep = dopey lines)

Both are not great movies but their subject and the thoughts they spin are something so basic and fundamental that I’d urge everyone to go watch them.

Go watch them.

life updates

2007-02-13T23:33:00.000+05:30

my new life is not so conducive for blogging :(

i am:

* working on a new project (quite interesting)
* actively participating in BNP (we were almost 50 of us at the last intervention on sunday! woohoo!)
* making a nonsensical movie for a contest at my workplace (fun!)
* trying to juggle my existence on many planes and failing quite badly.. (sigh)
* listening to coldplay and seeking solace in their gentle melodies (shiver, yellow, spies, trouble, sparks, parachutes)
*posting twice in one day (yay!)

oh happy valentine's day. may you love the world and be loved in return. err..whatever..

us

2007-02-13T23:27:00.000+05:30

even in the bitterest battle it is your touch i crave to give me comfort i seek from all the sharp words crashing on the floor around us.

i can easily imagine telling you all my hatred for the things you've done when securely ensconsed in your arms.

is it just me or do you also feel the love between us, which we constantly bury under layers of transient negative feelings?

Lesson for the day

2007-01-28T23:36:00.000+05:30

If you truly want something in life:

understand that our first reaction is to find barriers that prevent us from achieving it. don't get stuck with the barriers themselves. understand the purpose of the barriers. it is a good thing to recognize and acknowledge the barries coz it helps you work around them.

don't assume the only way to achieve it is by being 100% committed to the goal.. if the 100% commitment means you need to work your life around. be committed to the goal by thinking about it often. that's the first step. keep it alive in your mind and thoughts. talk about it with other people.. kinda like admitting it out in the open and acknowledging your aim. let it slowly spill over from your thoughts to little things in your daily life.

it is very difficult to change your life overnight but very easy to just change it a li'l bit.. coz then by doing just that li'l bit, you've already done something towards achieving what you want!

for the sake of seeing something different

2007-01-18T11:24:00.002+05:30

i know i know.. even i'm sick of coming here and not seeing a new post. the things a well paying job does to you *sigh*

aqua sense (acquiescence?)

2007-01-11T21:59:00.001+05:30

another one of those herd behaviors all of us follow but never question.

liquids we love:

water
alcohol
sweet juices

liquids we hate:

pee
mucus (from all orifices)
impure water
tears (..i think.. maybe some men hate them.. dunno)
blood

why do we so easily accept the distaste for things handed down by other generations? pee is not really sooo unhygenic.. some people drink it.. they're doing perfectly fine! mucus is yucky.. but why? is it just the viscosity? ok impure water = illness.. so it is kinda justified but again just because water looks muddy we readily label it impure and blindly accept water that "looks" clean (go see erin brockovich or any other movie that'll clarify why this is not true). tears.. well.. we all know how they can bring relief.. if you don't know ask a female near you to explain. blood.. ok we fear it coz it reminds us of our mortality.. but it isn't something that should disgust us.. why does it turn us off? is our fear of mortality really so great?!

if you are wondering, "is there is a point to this post"..

H for Happy New Year!

2006-12-30T19:58:00.000+05:30

H for Hampi..

Update!

the holiday was - niiiiice! (say it smoothly.. niiiiice)

in hampi you can - explore ruins, take good photographs, cycle, shop for really nice bags and summery clothes, eat some really awesome italian, spanish, israeli, french food :p~ *droool*

i recommend - ranjana guest house, shanti restaurant, mango tree restaurant

missed - staying in a hut by the river, taking a bus to goa and extending the holiday *sigh*

hope you all have a nice new year too!

What a quarter of a life has taught me..

2006-12-20T18:35:00.000+05:30

When you want something badly.. I mean reaallllly want it, the only way you can get it is by convincing yourself and the powers that be that you actually don't want it at all. Not one bit.

Yep. That's the only way.

girl power

2006-12-11T17:56:00.000+05:30

female foeticide. female infanticide. rampant in india. no no this is not an essay on this serious and very relevant (to India) issue. This is post on an anticipated social crisis.

my thoughts -

it is mostly people from lower and middle socio-economic classes and people from rural India who kill female infants and foetuses.

most upper middle class and upper class, metropolitan Indians bring up their daughters as educated, free thinking, well travelled..etc etc individuals.

so according to me this leads to -

skewed sex ratio = there are not enough women (this is already a reality!)

skewed socio-economic backgrounds = greater number of traditional men from conservative backgrounds and most women who are educated, free thinking, from urban backgrounds.

decline in marriage market = fewer kids being born (which "sounds" like a good thing for India) but...

decline in marriage market (mostly with respect to urban women) = skewed ratio of educated urban kids to under priviledged kids from poor backgrounds

Currently, India is a young country with most of its population in the "working" sector. so if the marriage market sees a sharp drop, this will essentially translate to fewer educated urban kids in the working sector which might mean a significant impact on the Indian economy.

Today i found this. I hope Indian sociologists can clearly draw parallels from Japanese society and take action before its too late (and i think it already might be too late).

Life talk on wheels

2006-12-05T14:17:00.000+05:30

I went through this crappy thing yesterday evening that totally bummed me out. I took an auto to my place. The driver was the most easy to talk to, mature, intelligent, philosophical guy i've had the pleasure of traveling with. He so totally cheered me up!

One of the things that really made me happy was the fact that intelligence is never the prerogative of any "one" kind of peoples.. and every time i 'connect' with somebody with whom i seemingly have no common ground i feel so blessed and secure that i haven't really alienated myself from the rest of them/us. (ofcourse sometimes i feel it's all a nice delusion where i affirm some feelings of superiority by thinking i'm different from anyone else at all)

some how.. for the past few weeks i've been seeing a lot of "there's hope for humanity yet" kind of affirming events. It scares me.

As JD Salinger puts it ""I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."

to all my lovely sagi fellow-bloggers!

2006-12-01T16:38:00.000+05:30

December's here.. and with it is the promise of another disappointing b'day..

hmm.. no no .. that's not quite right.. i think i've finally "grown-up" a li'l more in my 24-25th year of life. i think for the first time i'll be content to just let my b'day pass by.. without expecting the whole of mankind to just jump with joy and make me weep with their celebratory mood and their shower of gifts :P

did i see tears of relief in the kid's eyes? :)

i've noticed that majority of my blogger friends are sagis and thought i must post a mass "Happy Birthday" post.

So..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! jenny, subbu, tweety, mcx, li'l yang, rich morals (tho' i doubt he's ever visited my blog, but just in case)

do let me know when your b'day is y'all and i'll def leave a nice message to warm the cockles of your heart :D

PS - no this is not a not-so-subtle invitation for wishes on my b'day.. really it's not about that ;)

back in the land of the living dead

2006-11-28T17:10:00.000+05:30

was sick for a bit. back now. tagged by the kid.

9 fav scenes in no particular order.

1. 8 mm - Nicholas Cage has just bludgeoned the bad guy to pulp using the butt of a pistol and he comes home, sees his infant son sleeping like an angel and he can't deal with the sudden beauty of it and just breaks down.. bawling.

2. pink floyd the wall - This boy goes to the play area in a park and watches a dad play with his son. He yearns for the touch of a father. He also joins in the play and pretends for a while that he is his father. Finally when the father is leaving with his son.. the boy runs up to him and holds his hand and is repeatedly pushed away.

3. before sunset - the scene in the car where they finally strip away all the niceties and their souls communicate the anguish, regrets, anger.. has a natural and spontaneous feel to it...superb acting. Oh and the ending.

4. amistad - final court scene

5. 1947: earth (hindi) - final scene with nandita das being dragged and aamir shown with a grin.

6. kung fu hustle - the buddha cloud in the climax :) oh and the intial dance .

7. viruddh ( hindi) - the scene in the park where Amithab (who has recently lost his son) sees the laughter club ppl and makes a pathetic attempt to join them bleats out "ho ho ho.. ho ho ho.."

8. the truman show - climax.

9. notting hill - the laaaaaast scene with her lying on his lap in the park.. somehow have always felt that made the most perfect picture of a happy, contented life.

Just realized that i'm so not attached to scenes in movies.. these are just random scenes that floated into my brain when writing this post.. i'm sure if i wrote it yesterday or tomorrow you'd be reading a totally different list.

BNP Action Heroes Update

2006-11-15T14:26:00.000+05:30

A bit late but an update nevertheless

How was the intervention?
Gooood.

How many people turned up?
Almost 30! that's what made it gooood.

How was it different this time?
We are slowly learning what works best and what doesn't. The more interventions i go to the more i understand my own perspectives and thoughts about things. They are changing slowly and are becoming more in tune with what Jasmeen wants to achieve through BNP.

What needs to change?
It was heartening to see a good number of male volunteers. But we seemed to work as two different groups raising awareness for the same cause. This needs to change. We need to work together as a team. We women who are on 'performance mode' are asked what BNP is and what we are trying to do through it by people . The men can take over the explaining and complement our non-verbal action with their facts and details.

probably why i am the way i am..

2006-11-13T10:29:00.000+05:30

some rhymes i grew up hearing -

Rock a bye baby on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.

I'm sure I had very sweet dreams when i fell asleep listening to this.

Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs, and downstairs,
And in my lady's chamber.

There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers!
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.

..and prayers are a must! didn't you know? oh also, if you are old then you are vulnerable to people who'd want to hold you by your left leg and throw you down the stairs and you deserve it coz you don't say your prayers dammit!

Piggy on the railway
Picking up stones
Down came an engine
and broke piggy’s bones.
’Aah’ said the piggy
’That’s not fair’
’Oh’, said the engine driver
’I don’t care’.

Wowie! Life education! a gentle initiation into the school of hard knocks.

Which rhymes did you grow up listening to?

BNP Action Hero

2006-11-08T16:39:00.000+05:30

Hooray! It's time for me to take out my dusty 'ol cape again and go make the world a better place. I'm gonna knock 'em down with my stare, make them understand and respect personal space through my forcefield, and make an impact on their consciousness by just being there! Yeah baby this blank noise thing sure is grooovy!

ok.. teeny bopper energy aside,

The day: Nov 12, Sunday
The place : India Coffee House, M.G. Road
The time : 4:30 pm
The agenda : weeeelll.. now we don't want the bad guys to know all our secret plans now do we?

bringing the teeny bopper energy down and increasing the adult tone of serious matters..

men who harass women on the streets need to know it's not so easy anymore and women who get harassed need to know it's not sth "normal" that they should treat with indifference and silence. General public needs to know sth is being done about the issue of harassment on the streets and that they can help too.

So are you gonna be there?

P.S. - And for those of my (i dunno what word to use here)________ readers who actually thought "err.. so are you like.. a feminist?", read the passage below:

Who we are, where we go, what we wear, how we sit, stand, talk, walk in our very own cities. When we demand the need to make our cities non threatening , I don't expect anyone to think of me as their sister or mother, but to really look at women as citizens who have every right to be out on the streets, without any explanation. Sometimes we just love to walk, stand around, hang around, without looking 'available.'

If you still think it means I am a feminist then go ____________ (choose your fav method, get creative now.. don't be shy) and rid this world of your useless existence.

P.P.S. - I'm talking about the term "feminist" as spoken by people as a derogatory term used for women who "hate" the male species. I don't think any gender should hate any other gender as a whole.

Thought showcase - exhibit #6

2006-11-06T11:08:00.000+05:30

True Birth

In life there many instances where you are created, there is the biological creation, the point of consciousness, the point from which a life greater than your own is created within you (applicable only to women) and finally when a dream manifests itself in to reality and a new you is created. For many this is their true birth.

~ mcx

Guess?

2006-10-29T10:26:00.001+05:30

ok.. so i had decided the next post would be a questionnaire but after careful consideration (and unkindly remarks about the nature of the qnaire by oz) i have changed the questions. i'm not in the city for the next 7 days. so you ppl can have a field day coming up with bizarre answers to the questions:

Where am i?

Why am i there?

if you are so kicked about answering them that you don't want it to end at two questions you can go right ahead and make up your own questions and answer them. :p

PS - there you go TQ, dumb Qs enough na?

Thought showcase - exhibit # 5

2006-10-25T12:55:00.000+05:30

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

~ Oriah

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

read this. made me feel all tingly inside. posting it to pass on the feeling.

Two Books

2006-10-11T12:30:00.000+05:30

God's Debris ~ Scott Adams (creator of dilbert)

100 odd pages. two people meet. minimal text. he talks about a whole lot of topics that lie in between science and philosophy and gives it his spin. could be renamed 'life the universe and everything' (sorry mr.douglas adams but his book deserves the title more than yours). good mind exercise.. if not, it's good fodder for criticism. i (ofcourse) loved it.

Hope for the Flowers ~ Trina Paulus

i don't even know how many pages.. (i was so caught up) but really, not that many pages. you should read it aloud. this book is dr.suess for adults (not to say dr.suess wrote only for kids). simple story of two caterpillars, stripe and yellow. lots of illustrations that are so good they do funny things to your heart. again, minimal text. planning to buy 5 copies.

go read.

...

2006-10-09T10:32:00.000+05:30

what do you do for a living?

work.

what do you do for living?

...

The constant gardener

2006-10-06T09:54:00.000+05:30

Rachel Weisz looks good, she smiles well, brings life into the character, shows off her heavily pregnant body quite well..

.. but she won an oscar for that!?!?! sheesh.

Oh, so this is what's called trekking!

2006-10-02T08:22:00.000+05:30

background info: trek to kumaraparvata

base - lodge

mid point - Bhattara maNe (cook's house)

3/4 way point - mantapa (small four pillared stone structure with just a roof and no walls..)

peak - peak

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night 1 - bad traffic > reached bus station > sleepless bus journey

day 1

morning - common dorm hall > community brushing > sad B'fast > very tiring almost non-stop climb > LEEECHES!!!! > backpacks growing heavier with each step

noon - awesome lunch (coz we were so hungry we could've and would've eaten anything > b.a.s.i.c accommodation > wrestle with huge spiders in the loo

afternoon -

3:15pm ... waiting for time to pass

4:15 ... more of the same

5:00 - aha! lets explore!

5:45 - come back drenched in rain :|

6:00 - ...waiting for time to pass *sigh*

night 2 - dinner > make plans to quit and seek luxury of lodge rooms at the base > try to sleep on hard cold floor

day 2

morning - get woken up at 5 am with the sounds of rain.. big rain! > confirm plans of quitting and go back to sleep > change plans > trek to mantapa :)

noon - climb back down > starts raining > slip and fall about 7 times > trek back to Bhattara mane slowly in the rain

afternoon - more same lunch > leave for base > ..any guesses? no?.. why more RAIN of course! > trekking in the rain + bags getting really heavy coz of rain > more leeches (note the lack of emphasis…they are pretty common place now :p) > realize we've trekked half way thru very fast! yay! > keep plodding on > and on > and on..> lose all hope of ever reaching the base

evening - in.. the.. lodge.. bath.. can't.. move.. ugh!

night 3 - pack bags > walk to find bus station > another sleepless journey

-----------------------------------------------------

So in conclusion,

tough weather + leeches + heavy bags + low energy = tuck your tail and run!

..or conquer it and grit your teeth and smile at the guy who came up with the saying that 'trekking builds character'!

P.S. - it was fun! (in a perverse way but.. fun!)

3 nights 2 days

2006-09-29T13:52:00.000+05:30

back pack - check

energy food and water - check

nice scenic slightly hard to climb mountain - check

mood - excited, anxious, spaced out, readiness

I wish I could bookmark my thoughts

2006-09-21T12:25:00.000+05:30

Today I woke up as the idealist.. since morning I have only been seeing idealistic solutions in action or have been thinking them.

I have had many ideas which I thought were worth thinking about at a later time.. unfortunately my memory retention/retrieval sucks. So here is an idea I'm expressing to mostly to myself. It's crazy, it's foolish, it's mine. Of course you are free to comment. Please be kind.

::>::<::>::<::>::<::>::<::>::<::>::<::>::<::>::<::>::

Alternative source for energy

For sometime now I've been thinking about child labour and how passing a law that prohibits children from working is not the best solution.. coz some kids really need the money to survive.

So..

So then I was thinking of this ideal office building where there is no AC and its built in such a way that natural ventilation provides enough cooling effect. I was also thinking of plan B should it turn out to be summer and should the people want more cool air..

If plan B involved too much electricity then it would contradict the original purpose.. so I thought we could employ kids to fan us :))

then I went back to the child labour problem..

Taa daaa!!

What if we could generate electricity by employing children to do what they do best... play! we could ask them to play cricket and swing and play on a seesaw! Isn't there anyway that we can link up this mechanical energy and convert it to electrical? [is there any ethical/moral problem in generating electricity through kids this way?]

Imagine an alternative energy centre where you can get batteries charged, hell if enough kids are "employed" we could even think of supplying electricity to a small town!

Yes, I realize I dunno shit about producing electricity and the practical problems and logical loop holes in this, but what the hell I thought it was a damn good idea to indulge in for the morning

so :p

Thought showcase - exhibit #4

2006-09-14T14:12:00.000+05:30

here's is something i would love to know more about -

"I suspect that the great majority of middle-class Indians are not particularly averse to homosexuality, provided that gay couples carry on discreetly. A similar outlook can be found in the small towns of southern United States, where gay "roomates" are allowed to live together without excessive scutiny. The comedian Russell Peters often quips that a good family background would be important to Indian parents of same-sex partners. "

~ so said Vikram

Has the World Ended Before?

2006-09-06T12:38:00.000+05:30

I'd been thinking of posting obscure stories from Indian mythology for sometime now and inspired by pagan temple's post I started hunting down one story I'd read in a comic book.

In that story, the evil Asuras (demons) are granted a boon and they build cities. They are built such that, city #1 is always stationary and bound to the ground, city #2 is stationary in the sky and city # 3 was a free floating city that could travel great distances very fast. The cities, when separate and not aligned, were absolutely indestructible.. thanks to the master artistry of heaven's architect, Vishwakarma.

As can be expected, drunk on power with illusions of invincibility, the demons start terrorizing earth and humans. Lord Shiva is called upon to stop them by using his powerful (nuclear?) weapon. The Devas (Gods) plot and manipulate events such that the three satellite cities are forced to align one above the other for just a few seconds within which Shiva destroys them.

Humans are saved. Devas are happy. Asuras are dead. End of story? Not quite! Coz when was searching the net for this story I came across so many descriptions of space crafts, stealth bombers, missiles and all in ancient Indian texts that ppl today consider as part of mythology. Gah!

----------------------------------------------

In the Vedic literature of India, there are many descriptions of flying machines that are generally called Vimanas.

According to Dr. Vyacheslav Zaitsev: "the holy Indian Sages, the Ramayana for one, tell of "Two storied celestial chariots with many windows" "They roar like off into the sky until they appear like comets." The Mahabharata and various Sanskrit books describe at length these chariots, "powered by winged lighting...it was a ship that soared into the air, flying to both the solar and stellar regions."

'Vymanika Shastra' he said the ancient flying devices of India were made from special heat absorbing metals named 'Somaka, Soundalike and Mourthwika.' He said the text also discussed the seven kinds of mirror and lenses installed aboard for defensive and offensive uses. The so-called 'Pinjula Mirror' offered a sort of 'visual shield' preventing the pilots from being blinded by 'evil rays' and the weapon 'Marika' used to shoot enemy aircraft 'does not seem too different from what we today called laser technology,' he said.

--------------------------------------------------

I have read another book "Cave of the Ancients " by T.Lobsang Rampa a Tibetian lama. In this book, he describes a cave near Tibet which is guarded coz it holds secrets of an ancient technologically advanced civilization.

What I don't understand is why people don't talk about these things more or experiment with the things known to prove or disprove them.

why the indifference?

why why whyyyy...

The art of living

2006-08-28T17:56:00.000+05:30

I love blogtrotting. I love the totally unpredictable mindscapes it takes you through each time.

And I can't thank God/higher intelligence/greater design of universal consciousness (I'm not good with labels) for having led me to Nipun and Guri.

yeah its just a blog.. and they are just a buncha sweet people.. but its not possible for me to explain how they've touched my life at this moment.. save to post about them.

Don't miss this. Nor this.

If there was a 'faith in humanity' meter in this game.. mine would show fulllll.

:)

Malena

2006-08-16T18:49:00.000+05:30

A movie about a city raping a woman. Or atleast that's how I choose to see it.

(link in the title)

12:08:08:12

2006-08-16T18:41:00.000+05:30

Ok ok .. I'm late.. I should just wear bunny ears and show everyone my true avatar of the rabbit from wonderland. This post's a note of gratitude for filling 365 of my days with:

walks in the park

strength to face the worst mood swings ever

better insights into who i am and how i relate to "society"

clandestine meetings

happy drunken times

frustration which pushed me to state what i need clearly and unapologetically

movies, movies and more movies :)

Thank you.

Monday morning blues..

2006-08-07T14:18:00.000+05:30

..had me thinking what I would've been if I followed one of my childhood fantasy careers.

Police officer

Teacher [fav career of every indian child who has books of the previous academic year he/she can evaluate]

Part of a rock band woohoo \m/

Comedian

Doctor [Surgery]

Actor

Choreographer

Storyteller

Time traveller

TV serial scriptwriter/director [I was 3 yrs old when I renamed ppl around me to suit the characters they were supposed to play..]

Voice artist

Make up artist

Chef on TV :)

Not paranoia

2006-07-31T11:08:00.000+05:30

I accessed my blog yesterday night to find that there was a new post. No, not a new comment, a new post! Unless I suffer from schizophrenia I'm pretty certain it wasn't me who published the post you can see below. I haven't deleted it because I want to know what happened.

Did somebody figure out my password!? Unlikely coz I have an alphanumeric password that has nothing to do with my personal life.

Did some blogger script post this? Possible.. I dunno.. I'm no techie.

Did the universal consciousness pick up on the fact that I'm tired with my routine so is giving me a sign that I should go join Google? hmm...

What should I do now? Just forget that my blog was invaded and move on? :|

2006-07-28T16:21:00.000+05:30

Advertising Programs - About Google - We're Hiring - Go to Google.com
Make Google Your Homepage!

A touch of the absurd

2006-07-26T18:22:00.000+05:30

Chomsky proposed that it was possible to create a sentence that was grammatically correct but impossible, for example, "Colourless green ideas sleep furiously".

My contributions:

Teething healers don't faze little violets, who will be coming soon.

Blinking at bubbles doesn't mean you are blue.

The garbage said to the man, "Don't blah!"

The pasty couple must have married the volcano yesterday.

The round smile disliked the fresh foam.

But the real fun is in reading the contexts these guys are coming up with to make the sentences seem absolutely normal.

Some of the best ones I found there:

My toothbrush is pregnant again.

Black lemon trees eat swimming pools unanimously.

Bottled people fly best after death.

My knees are laughing.

Reminds me of this game I used to play as a kid. You had to carry on a conversation with your friend but every sentence you spoke had to be totally irrelevant to what the other speaks.

Ex:

Kid 1: I think it should rain all the time.

Kid 2: But the skirt would be even better if it was red.

Kid 1: The telephone was totally dead yesterday.

Fun!

Trippy!

2006-07-19T12:40:00.000+05:30

Leary's Eight Circuit Model of Consciousness

Dr. Leary assumes that the nervous system consists of eight potential circuits, or "gears," or mini-brains.

First four of these brains are in the usually active left lobe and are concerned with our terrestrial survival.

I. THE BIO-SURVIVAL CIRCUIT

Evolved 2 to 3 billion years ago. Concerned with classifying things into "helpful" or "harmful." Trust or suspicion. Approach or avoid.

This state is stimulated by Opium - the floating consciousness of the newborn. (Freudians identify opiate addiction with the desire to return to infancy.)

II. THE EMOTIONAL CIRCUIT

Evolved perhaps in 500,000,000 B.C. Concerned with emotional behaviour. Stimulus, response. Aggression, submission, cooperation. Emotional decision making etc.

This state is stimulated by alcohol. Territorial patterns and emotional politics appear when booze flows.

III. THE DEXTERITY-SYMBOLISM CIRCUIT

Evolved 4-5 million B.C. Concerned with left-lobe functions of the brain, logic, handling the environment and conceptual thought.

Coffee, tea, speed, cocaine, high protien diet.

IV. THE SOCIAL-SEXUAL CIRCUIT

Concerned with transmission of tribal or ethnic culture across generations. "Moral and "immoral".

No artifical stimulant yet. But stimulant flows volcanically through the bloodstreams of adolescents.

---------------------------------

Last four are extraterrestrial, reside in the "silent" or inactive right lobe, and are for use in our future evolution. This explains why the right lobe is usually inactive at this stage of our development, and why it becomes active when the person ingests psychedelics.

V. THE NEUROSOMATIC CIRCUIT

Began to appear 5000 years ago. Causes linear VISUAL SPACE to change to all-encompassing SENSORY SPACE. This is the state of being "high" "spaced out" "floating" "zen state of one foot above the ground".

Stimulant - Pot.

VI. THE NEUROELECTRIC CIRCUIT

First reported around 500 BC. Concerned with the nervous system becoming aware of itself. Dr. John Lilly calls it "metaprogramming," i.e., awareness of programming one's programming. Woooo... supposed to enable telepathy, high-energy communication with "Higher Intelligences," i.e., ourselves-in-the-future and other post-terrestrial races.

No specific stimulant yet - a bit of strong psychedelics like mescaline and /or LSD perhaps.

VII. THE NEUROGENETIC CIRCUIT

The collective consciousness. Akaashik records. memories and visions of past and future. Immortality (of your consciousness not of your physical body).

Stimulant - LSD

VIII. THE NEURO-ATOMIC CIRCUIT

The extraterrestrial unconscious. Out-of-body experiences. Astral projection. When the nervous system is turned on to this quantum-level circuit, space-time is obliterated. Einstein's speed-of-light barrier is transcended; in Dr. Sarfatti's metaphor, we escape "electromagnetic chauvinism." Lao-tse's perspective, "The greatest is within the smallest." (I thought William Blake said that!)

Stimulant - Ketamine, high doses of LSD (if it doesn't kill you in the process that is!)

---------------------------------

Phew!! That was some mind exercise! I love the interrelatedness of things in Leary's theory. Child development stages + neurological imprints + how it came about in human evolution + substances that stimulate the state!

Now, what I want to know is why the hell we weren't taught this theory of evolution in school. Grrrrr....

PS - The author of the post who coincidentally happens to be the "me" I'm currently identifying with, certainly in no way supports ingesion of drugs for any cause even one as noble as evolution of mankind.

I know what I feel...

2006-07-19T12:27:00.000+05:30

Weltschmerz (from the German meaning world-pain or world-weariness) is a term coined by the German author Jean Paul and denotes the kind of feeling experienced by someone who understands that the physical reality can never satisfy the demands of the mind.

It is also used to denote the feeling of sadness when thinking about the evils of the world.

There. The bloody monster is tagged and bagged.

The world is out to get me...

2006-07-19T10:01:00.000+05:30

... AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!

Thought showcase - exhibit #3

2006-07-17T10:47:00.000+05:30

Want to read about - the fallacy of settling down, barnacles, building tombs being the focus of our existence, demented forces of homogenization? Click here >

Highly Recommended!

A soft drizzle

2006-07-14T16:17:00.000+05:30

Swirling thoughts form patterns pretty

And surprize me from my revierie

Soft like rain they fall, merry

Ripples on my reality.

A stranger I watch them ebb and flow

Observe the patterns I should know

Yet farther I recede into

A deeper me unknown unto

The passing day.

Fascinating!

2006-07-11T11:29:00.000+05:30

Saw a movie called Basquiat. Intriguing. He looks up at the sky and the surfer is happy surfing the waves. He smiles. My search for the artist's life and works started. A post later Basquiat was laid to rest (for the time being atleast). He was a good friend of Andy Warhol (played by David Bowie). Dig dig dig and off I go into the rabbit hole.

A n d y W a r h o l. Fascinating! He painted Campbell's soup cans, Cocacola and brought into fashion the ubiquitous psychedelic portraits. I had always always wondered how art and business worked together. I should've just read about AW to know about it. The more I read the more bizarre the mad hatter's world became. He had a series of "piss paintings"... which literally means that.. paintings created by pissing! (canvases prepared with copper paint that show oxidised urine stains)

He has not only filled the museums with his paintings but also has movies that don't really pass as movies - Eat, Haircut, Sleep, Vinyl, ****, Milk (can't wait to see them.. if I can get them that is). Wiki says, "Andy Warhol dreamed of a television show that he wanted to call "The Nothing Special," a special about his favourite subject: Nothing." ...Fascinating!

He died when he was 58... but my god how he lived! Utterly the F word.

Happiness is overrated

2006-07-06T10:42:00.000+05:30

Happiness is a nice state to be in but must all strive to be happy all the time!?

Why is it that we feel a person who is depressed all the time is 'sick' and not feel that about a person who is happy all the time? According to me anybody who is happy all the time is insane or is a yogi.

We are all so conditioned to think in black and white. We never stop to think that maybe the (negative) emotion is needed.

When we see a person who's down and blue our first instinct is to say 'Cheer up!'. When we are feeing down and blue our instinct is not to cheer up but to wallow in the bluesdom and feel comfortable in a hazy non-feeling sadness blanket.

I've have consciously changed my behavior. I usually end up asking a sad person 'Do you want to talk about it' 'Do you need a hug' 'Do you want to be alone?' rather than tell a person 'Oh its going to be alright' 'It's not such a big deal' 'Cheer up!'

What are the things you've said to people when they're down or what do you want people close to you to do when you're feeling blue? What are the crazy things that bring you comfort when you're blue?

...Sheeeeesh...

2006-07-03T12:02:00.000+05:30

Oye! What is this happening.. I thought you peoples will find your way to my other blogs on your own...

* sigh *

We live in an age of obviousnessess

point # 1 - Go see my visual blog - miniocular (play on monocular/binocular)

point #2 - Go see my music blog - song facts

100 points to autogato and Oz who found their way there before this post :D

Hiding

2006-06-19T10:08:00.000+05:30

She drowns out the silence with her toys
She winds them up one by one till the clangs and rattles
Fill her head up so she can't hear the vaccum
She smiles

Someday the toys will die
Who will save her from the deafening truth then?

Thought showcase - exhibit #2

2006-06-08T12:19:00.000+05:30

PETER KAY's one liners:

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

You know that look women get when they want sex? No, me neither.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

~ so showcased graemephillips on his blog.

P.S. - the thought showcased is Peter's.

What informative, insightful, or funny comments do you have?

2006-05-30T12:18:00.000+05:30

A crazy thought:

Women in the coastal areas are treated with more equality and have more power than women in dry, landlocked areas...

Examples - kerala, hawaii, mumbai..

delhi, kansas, madhya pradesh...

(please contribute more places that you think support my crazy thought)

phreak's reply was:

It all has to do with the food pattern. Coastal areas have plenty of food naturally available. Therefore, men don't assume physically stronger and more powerful stereotype. In dry landlocked areas it is more of a physical struggle to get food. So men are treated with a relatively exaggerated sense of value and women get relegated to the weaker, stay-at-home-preferably-in-the-kitchen stereotype.

If my blog was slashdot I'd mod his comment a 5 for insightful. (for non-slashdotters.. 5 is the highest rating a comment can get and comments are categorized according to how they relate to the post)

Inner child

2006-05-19T14:11:00.000+05:30

Foreword (you know a post is gonna be looooong if it has a foreword!) - This post has nothing to do with the cave/therapy centre. Hmm… maybe the only link it does have is the peace and quiet it accorded my mind, which has allowed clarity of thought…and thus this post.

Main Post

So far the concept of my inner child and everybody else’s inner child was like a dim awareness that would occasionally spark a better understanding of others and myself. But now… I want it to be an active process.

I was a dreamy child when I was growing up. A veritable flower child* happy and lost in my own world where I could talk to trees ...nature and people around me were there solely for my enjoyment and entertainment. As I grew up, my world along with the little girl who created it were internalised and hidden behind cobwebs as the world of common reality took over. Reality became the dominant world my awareness existed in.

Now, I want to give that inner child, my little girl self, and through them my “self” a voice and an important place in my awareness.

I have been unconsciously/subconsciously doing it. Gratifying my id Freud would say - when I went partying till the wee hours of the morning... when I throw worldly defences away in facing my needs and desires..when I unabashedly demand from the people close to me the things (emotional support, security, love, material things), I need from them (a recently learned skill)... when I put a nice picture of me as my mobile wallpaper (still trying to not beat myself up with my internal cynic’s scathing “How vain!”).

So the point of this post… (yep, surprisingly there is a point!) was to throw open my little hippy flower child self to my blog readers, and to encourage you to find your li’l inner child and give it a voice.

Oh and most importantly: STOP! Stop judging yourself harshly with the standards set by society. Accepting yourself could be the greatest gift you could give yourself. (corny as hell .. but serves the purpose)

* Big shout out to TQ who was a catalyst to this thought and thank you TQ especially for so perfectly understanding my li’l hippie girl self. :)

Cave Story #2

2006-05-19T13:06:00.000+05:30

Reminiscences and Ratings

50% peace

There was a lake. There were hammocks. There was a long winding walking track through a farm. There was a small strip of pebbles with water on them. There was clean green air. Time stands still there. Awesome!

20% weird

People. People from weird countries. People with weird backgrounds. People with weird shapes. People with weird attitudes.

Place. Place full of weird sayings. Place full of weird treatments. Place of weird foods. Place full of water coolers and toilets.

15% relaxing

Oil massages, hot baths, swimming pools, hammocks, evenings by the lake, nights of sudoku, crosswords, and novels.

10% tiring

Running around to ensure you are on time for yoga class, treatments, physiotherapy, food. Running up the stairs to the room on the second floor to get stuff. Running all across the campus to get to places.

5% boring

Ok its 7:00 pm so what next? Ermm… nothing really! Just some dumb lectures, kiddie movies or plain old TV.

5% funny

Funny coz you get to laugh at all the weird things of that place. Laughter therapy was a gas! (laughing at the ones who are doing it that is..) Laughing at the weird sayings (they deserve a post of their own) Laughing at the weird accents and attempts of the yoga instructors to stimulate relaxation in us.

*sigh* that place truly was something...

Cave Story #1

2006-05-16T11:29:00.000+05:30

Things I did that I’ve never done before -

Slept on a hammock and chased squirrels with my eyes

Applied clarified butter into my nostrils

Fasted for four days at a stretch

Stripped in front of strange women

Relished eating Bottle gourd

Sat immobile for 45 minutes with mud all over me

Chatted casually with naked sweaty women

Cycled 15 feet above ground and got scared

Lost 4 kilograms (almost 9 pounds)

Spoke to people from countries I’d never heard of (Tunisia!)

I’m baaaaaaack!!

2006-05-16T11:28:00.000+05:30

Breathe me in.

I'm going vavaeeeeyyy!

2006-05-02T18:00:00.000+05:30

Oh the last minute traumas... the uncertainty of being in a totally strange place ... and of anticipating relaxation, something I haven't known very often..

Tata peoples who have come to read my blog! I'm off to a secret cave where yoga, relaxation, and total detox are not just words.

I'll be back with (hopefully) with lotsa thoughts spun in pure light.

PS - Just 10 days! I'm dreading it getting over even before it has started!

Hanging out... Down the street..

2006-04-24T11:35:00.000+05:30

Me: ask me where I was last Saturday..
Imaginary Friend: where were you last Saturday?

M: on brigade road
IF: …

M: I was just hanging out on the street by the railing, watching people go by.
IF: …and the point is…

M: well… how many women have you seen just standing around on the streets? Not soliciting, not waiting for a ‘somebody’ but just hanging out near the railings, just looking and being.
IF: now why would you want to do that!

M: to see what it felt like to own the streets, to assume power, to subtly change the whole atmosphere from male dominated to just a lot of people hanging out on the street, to make the men who try and take advantage of vulnerable girls on the streets feel that they may just have committed the worst blunder.
IF: and you think you achieved all that by just standing around and staring? That too just one evening…

M: yes to some small degree we did. We didn’t set out to eradicate harassment on the streets in one evening… we did however make some people think a lot about their attitudes, scared one or two men (men who deliberately stared, leched and harassed girls), and liberated ourselves.
IF: hurray for you. So what else did you do?

M: we walked without twisting and swerving on the pavement. We did not jump out of the way just because a man doesn’t want to change his path and doesn’t mind bumping in to a female form. We fought with a guy who had harassed one of our girls. Dealt with sentences like “This is India. Men will stare.” We attracted a lot of attention and opinions, which hopefully will stay in those people’s memories… it will certainly be an evening to remember for me!
IF: So what did you take away from that evening apart from the memories?

M: I learnt that a small group of 10 people can make an impact with just their eyes and presence. I learnt that the best way to deal with people who have something negative to say is to say is to hear them out and present your case as lucidly as possible. Sometimes though, a very aggressive approach is the only way you can make your voice heard. It is all about power play after all!

How they stole my smile away...

2006-04-14T18:22:00.000+05:30

They knew i was happy... they couldn't stand to see the smile on my face. "how dare she smile! doesn't she know how adversely that can affect other's moods? before you know it we'll have many more people smiling and then they'll think its 'fun' to come here", they thought. So they conspired... they didn't even hold meetings and draw up a plan and stuff.. just conspired.. like a common understanding ran through their minds.

i was happy. happy in my own little world... all i wanted was to be left alone so i could float along my river of happiness and smile my tiny smiles. Little did i know... little did i suspect that there was a conspiracy..

First they disrupted my floating.. then they sent me on an errand into a dark forest and made me believe it was a meadow.. aahh when the dark shadow of self-respect confronted me... *shudder* it warned me to go stand in my own grounds and not budge.

i the doormat went meekly to do the monster's bidding. i'm sure i saw a smirk on their faces even as they sympathised with my encounter. Go back they cajoled and face ur monster.. i couldn't very well appear a coward in front of them could i? no.. so i went.

There i stood one foot into the forest and the other firmly planted in my ground. Even as the shudders racked my body and befuddled my mind.. a clear question rang out.. which was the real monster that stole my smile?

Myoosik Trivia

2006-04-05T15:08:00.000+05:30

Roberta Flack/The Fugees hit immortalized Don McLean by making him the subject of the song, "Killing Me Softly With His Song"

... and Don Mclean immortalized Buddy Holly with the song "American Pie"

... and Buddy Holly immortalized Peggy Sue Garron, in his song "Peggy Sue"

Thought showcase - exhibit #1

2006-03-30T10:12:00.000+05:30

Modern Indian norms on morality and sexuality are eerily similar to those from Victorian England. In contrast, ancient Indian cultural records are replete with references to an open-minded, permissive society. (For example, Khajuraho, and Kama Sutra - can you imagine the controversy if someone put figures of naked men and women on their front gate today?) Could it be that we're holding on to a colonial legacy and not aware of it?

~ so said ameet on somebody's blog.

Happy Bird B

2006-03-28T10:04:00.000+05:30

*cartoony orchestra*

*twangy nasal voice*
Haaaappy Birday to you happy birday to you
happy birday happy birday happy birday tooooo yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaa...

*Andy Koffman*
Thankyou very much!

Peynk Flouid

2006-03-16T11:09:00.000+05:30

Ever thought they could sound Beatlesque’?

I know a mouse
And he hasn't got a house
I don't know why
I call him Gerald
He's getting rather old
But he's a good mouse

Blank Verse

2006-03-16T11:04:00.000+05:30

If creation has to take place there has to be fertilization and fruition..

Fertilized thought/energy/egg – Universe

Unfertilized thought/energy/period – Blank verse?

What can be done...

2006-03-14T11:11:00.000+05:30

The question is pouring in from everywhere... there is a collective
"ok.. now what" so, well.. here's what -

1. The blogs in themselves were the first step. All the women I'm sure will understand and agree why it is such a relief to just talk about it. For those to whom abuse on the streets is not such an immediate reality - It's great for us women, who have undergone trauma on the streets so often, to just express our emotions and share them with somebody who won't judge and criticize you instead of the perpetrators.

2. The blogs in themselves were the second step too. People who haven't undergone harassment on the streets appreciate women who are brave and hit back in what ever way they can. It is bloody scary for women to oppose the perpetrator because our previous experience has taught us that everybody (the entire society) seemingly sides with the perpetrator.. how can you be brave when you have a mental picture of your parents/friends/all the people who matter asking you "why didn't you just ignore it?" and "what will you do if he returns with a big gang the next time?"

This is why the blogs help... from now on.. (hopefully) each of us women when harassed can take courage from the fact that there is a sizable number of men and women who are supporting, helping, and encouraging you to be brave.

3. Read this where annie demarcates quite clearly what is harassment and what is not.. if nothing else it gives women a clear indication as to how much can and should be tolerated (this is ofcourse by no means a set-in-cement rule that you can live by.. it is just a good indicator)

How is this going to help? Well having gray areas in what can be termed harassment is not going to help us or the police/lawmakers to take strict action. If we take this list to the local police/lawyers and can understand in precise terms what the punishment meted out in each case is then it helps a LOT! If it doesn't help bring these perpetrators to justice, atleast it will scare them off when they harass you and you throw what exact punishment they can expect according to "so and so" police inspector/ hotshot lawyer.

This is just the start of this list... sensitisation programs in schools and colleges (for both boys and girls), trying to get police to start a harassment cell... these are big dreams.. but I hope I have conveyed that they are not impossible. They are quite achievable, rational, and practical. Will these eradicate the problem of harassment? Hell no! Will these help women feel braver when harassed and help the harassment reduce? You bet!

Some post scripts -

1. I'm so glad so many many many women have broken their silence and participated.

2. Thank you to all the men who have read the blogs/commented on them/ wrote posts for the blogathon.

3. A big apology to all the nice guys who read the blogs and were offended because most blogs used the words 'creeps', 'perpetrators', 'abusers' as interchangeable with the word 'men'. Please understand we use the word 'men' only because there are huge number of men who are the abusers/creeps/perpetrators. The posts were in no way meant to be a war against any sex. Still I'm am sorry if any of you were offended.

Keep it going...

2006-03-13T16:44:00.000+05:30

Sorry I can't move on.. I don't want to move on..

Story after story .. blog after blog... I can't help but wonder.. why have we women kept quite for so long?? How easy will it be for us to forget about the token gesture we made for the blogathon.. and be content in convincing ourselves "our work is done" "I did what I could" ... well you could always wait to do something more the next time you are abused.. but do you want to wait for that unfortunate moment to make your next contribution??

Keep blogging about this.. keep increasing the circle of bloggers who are aware that blank noise project exists so we can make a co-ordinated effort to start something that will make a lasting impact.

Street harassment

2006-03-07T16:08:00.000+05:30

Started to write about harassment on the streets... started to write about the stares that see you naked, innocent touches that accidentally happen to be at your privates, the lewd comments and the whistling that is meant to be all in appreciation of beauty, and the reaction of the people who are supposed to comfort you, whose first instinct is to say "you asked for it".. happened to read this before I could finish. Please read this post. It says all that I would've ever liked to and more.

knownturf.blogspot.com

Help or Ignore?

2006-03-07T14:24:00.000+05:30

As part of the blanknoise project blogathon:

#1 - I just had a conversation with a friend about dowry. Yes, it happens.. not in obscure rural regions, not in poor uneducated pockets of society. It happens in highly educated, urban families. If money (and/or other tangibles) are given without the groom or his family asking for it.. does it make it something other than dowry?? Are you guilty of having accepted dowry in any form?

#2 – I heard this news two nights ago. Meher Bhargava was shot coz she tried to raise her voice against four drunken men who passed lewd comments on her daughter-in-law.

#3 – I had the misfortune of meeting a person who opined it is not that easy to rape a woman.. therefore women who are raped must be co-operating with these men who commit the act.

# 4 – Some women are “allowed” to work provided they can also manage the house chores.

# 5 – Many parents do not like their daughters studying a lot as it makes them too “independent”. God forbid they should think for themselves!

#6 – Many urban parents push their daughters to study well just so it looks good on their matrimonial portfolio.

These are just a few… too few…

So what can you do about it?

If you are a woman, you can start by sensitising the men around you. Needn’t be on a grand scale, just your father, brother, boyfriend, husband, best friend, son will do. Be aware of your surroundings. Take responsibility for your safety.

If you are a man, be aware of the trauma women go through because of the callousness of men. More importantly, understand that the answer is not imposing rules on women. Even women who cover themselves head to toe and have the most docile demeanour get teased and raped and abused. You can start by changing your attitude to eve teasing. No woman “asks” to be humiliated, abused, and teased. No woman.

Finally, women’s day should be about pampering women… do something nice for the women you know.

umm.. where are we headed?

2006-03-02T10:22:00.000+05:30

A few association words for those who want a quick version of this post :

Herd mentality

People on the periphery

Destination unknown

In detail:

Human beings when thought of from a macro perspective are not very different from sheep. They are quite content to know their nose is stuck into the ass of the sheep who is walking before them. The golden rule I've heard once too often .. if sth was good enough for our forefather's generation it certainly has to be good enough for us. Some of us sheep though have edged to the periphery and can see some definite disadvantages of sticking our nose up in somebody's ass. The periphery sheep know the dumb patterns sheep fall into and the overwhelming need for self preservation that drives the central herd along...

... but this sheep has a touch of amnesia.. err.. where are we headed again?

The Day the Mask Fell Away...

2006-02-24T17:40:00.000+05:30

She was sure this was the day. Nobody could blame her.. she had tried this time really tried .. hard. It was inevitable. That's what it was.

The eyes! They went first. The others..they could see her eyes. Soon they would smell the mask falling away. She had to escape. She had to get away from prying eyes, from the dripping pity. People everywhere. No place to hide.. to change.. to let the mask slip away and to let all the falsity out. She felt like screaming.. .she could feel the scream building.. no.. she couldn't let it all go like this.

One last place to run .. one last place .. she could only hope. People blocking her path, intensifying the hate, ripping the mask away faster. No! She had to get there in time. A few more stairs.. willing her legs to go faster.. almost there.. out the door.

Sunshine!

She sunk to her knees. In gratitude. She ripped the mask away and set herself free.

I wish I knew them..

2006-02-23T11:49:00.000+05:30

Grandparents... I really wish every future generation knows as many generations before them as possible.

Think about it... your existence is a freaky coincidence if you consider the fact that somebody made a decision to marry somebody else ...beget an offspring who came together with another such a chosen one and brought you into this world! Sheesh.. wonder what probability would have to say about all our existences..

Just like I want to know and shape my future generations, I wish I knew my ancestors so I could appreciate them for the individuals they were.

Sadly all I know about my grandparents can be summarized in a few lines..

My (maternal) gramma - shy, extremely affectionate, never raised her voice even to discipline her kids, was very interested in politics and cricket :)

My (maternal) grampa - stylish, worked for the Maharaja of Mysore, knew french and visited france, very kind, happiest when left alone to tinker with his car, never raised his voice even to discipline his kids

My (paternal) grampa - always used to feed all his kids from his plate and ate after he was satisfied that his kids were fed well, extremely stubborn and dignified

My maternal gramma - very efficient and fast with all her house work

*sigh*

What have you been recently?

2006-02-16T10:20:00.000+05:30

I'm a witch who has the powers of a sorcerer :) Oh! and I've also been the only female werewolf and I could kickass (..and they wonder why crappy fiction sells so well!!) Some other things I've been include a philosopher/saint, a poet, an autistic 15 yr old boy, and a Kashmiri assassin!

What have you been recently?

Venus Vs. Mars #1

2006-02-02T15:29:00.000+05:30

What is it with men and communication?!

Apart from having a huge database of monosyllabic replies and grunts, they don't pay any attention to any conversation unless its something that interests them where they can dominate the conversation.

They will never understand that: IT'S RUDE TO PRETEND YOU ARE INTERESTED IN A CONVERSATION IF U'D REALLY RATHER BE THINKING OR DOING SOMETHING ELSE.

RUDE..as in.. socially incorrect in behavior, lacking in refinement civility or good manners.

What goes thru their mind anyway.. that some sounds strung together if remotely related to the hazy main topic of conversation must make sense and satisfy the unfortunate female talking to them???

And they wonder why we women "analyse" each conversation so much!! well... I guess coz we expect a conversation to have a logical beginning, middle, and an end and we are left flabbergasted why the seemingly intelligent man has so much trouble following a simple linear progression of ideas/opinions/statements.

*sigh*

That's why I value it so much...

2006-01-27T09:57:00.000+05:30

Absence brings out the true attachment you feel for something. Perceive the world perfect, as your life is.... then remove the person/object/desire from this perfect scenario and see how it makes you feel or helps you grow.

It’s good practice to filter... to pour ‘everythings’ in life through the filter of absence to see what comes out of it and what gets left behind as goo.

Sound Words

2006-01-19T18:10:00.000+05:30

The purpose of this post is to introduce a few sounds to this virtual audience and to request you (humbly) to meditate upon the various shades of expression of each of them. The first two have been explained for your convenience:

Hmmm...

Interesting… but I don’t think I want to comment just yet

I don’t have an intelligent reply to that so I’ll just nod and pretend like I can see into the soul of the matter

[Man] I wonder what the score is... [Woman] I wonder if its raining/ if we’ll go out today/ if he’ll ever change/ if I should be more assertive with that guy at work/...

Great I thought everything was as bad as it could get and now you go and do this [sound usually made when expelling the breath of a sigh]

You are boring me to death…tell me who sent you… who do you work for...

errr...

Shit! Got caught … what do I do… what do I doo…[often accompanied with a sheepish grin.. though nobody knows why it is called a “sheepish grin” as sheep do not ever really grin]

Accompanied by a “I’m thinking hard to say the absolutely precise measured words” look...

Quick fast think of something to say.. anything!

mmmm...

Grrr...

Huh?

Uh...

Yay!

Uh oh!

Aha!

Ha!

Awwwww...

Ewwwww...

Umm...

Aaaa? / Aaah??

Eyy.. / hey..

The Idea of Ideas

2006-01-19T17:30:00.001+05:30

How does one visually represent the internet? like a grid ...where things are grouped but floating.. organized digital matter piled on one other like brick and mortar? Like a few main service providers branching out into several groups of sites?

How does one visually represent ideas? like a grid? like a grouped collective consciousness? like a river with very few original ideas branching into tributaries which branch into streams and babbling brooks?

Salman Rushdie in Haroun and the sea of stories alludes to "kathasarithasaagar" (ocean of stories) where each story has a distinct origin. Stories are constantly interwoven and reborn.

Richard Bach in "one" writes of lives as ribbons in the sea... multicolored ribbons running along the length of the sea. Lives that are constantly interwoven and reborn. He also talks about Tink the idea fairie and the idea factory.

QuickSilver writes:

There it goes
that thought -
released by a soul.
Now it will linger,
freely in the air.
Now, it will meet
similar thoughts.
Collective, strong wishes -
Simple, passing comments.
Ideas, spoken - unspoken,
Prayers!,
they all glide around.
Waiting to be picked, by
destiny.

What places has this particular thought that I’m expressing visited since it was first expressed in our "earth"...only to be picked up by me (and how many else) and expressed here.

They say all material things have to start with a thought. A computer had to first start with the idea of a thing like a computer... so we virtually create everything out of nothing.. everything we humans can call things of convenience of modern civilization were all fashioned out of .. thin air..

However now.. we have gone (now pay attention) from "thought to form" to "thought to thought"! What best to represent this phenomenon than the internet.. I’d say we've come a complete circle with the creation of internet. We now create everything virtually out of virtually nothing!! Ha!!

Immune to Life

2006-01-03T14:02:00.000+05:30

Ever screwed up at work in the dumbest way possible and felt the shock of:

a) Challenging your self-image of being a responsible person?
(how could I be so dumb? Did somebody meddle with my comp?
Was I sleeping thru the job with my eyes open? Why oh
why did I not take a back up!!?!?!? GOD! how can u be so unkind to me..)

b) Reworking all the stuff again? (GAH...!)

c) Answering your supervisor why the screw up happened ?
(.. umm well.. its just that I have really latent "duh" genes
that surface once in a while and screw up my life but
otherwise I'm a very responsible professional..*sheeepish grin*)

We face so much stress at the work place ... not unlike that IBM ad where a s/w guy collapses thinking he has lost data.. makes you wonder if facing the 'real' stressors of life such as a calamity, losing a loved one, or screwing up in life (having wronged a person) will or can elicit the required shock from us.

Present day workplace = Immunity to life?

PS: This post was mainly about the scenarios faced in s/w companies. If your are an investment banker and u screwed up at your workplace and are facing some jail time then the shock indeed is justified. But such a disproportionate response to losing digital 0s and 1s..?

PPS: These thoughts arose when I watched the shell-shocked expression on a colleague's face (the colleague thought some data was lost ... which was later recovered)

Whaaaaat...?

2006-01-02T10:54:00.000+05:30

*yawn*

blink

scratch

try to think

drawl

"oh... Happy New Year"

*yawn*

idiotic smile ...

Qaleidoscopic Questions

2005-12-19T17:29:00.000+05:30

Black <> White – Opposites

Water <> Ice – Same Matter Different Physical States

Rock <> Tree – Dead Energy Living Energy

Objects <> Thoughts – Living Energies on Different Planes of Existence
--------------------------------------------------------------
What if we had exact opposites to our personality and existence, as there is a converse for everything in nature?

What if we have a complementary self? An exact reflection. What if we are the reflection of some other self in existence?

Would any change in me cause a similar change in all my multiple selves?

So did somebody get weak in existence without knowing why when I found that extra spurt of strength? What if all my selves have only one sum total energy that we can share between us?

Will any of my multiple selves be of a different gender?

What would happen if one of my multiple selves committed suicide? Would the rest of my selves get more life energy to share? Or would all my selves be penalized for the “Sin”? Would a new birth of a self occur then? Is there a rule that each group of selves should have a required number of existences?

If time is an illusion of space do we all exist in the same “now”? What if all the selves attained heightened sense of awareness about each other? Can we all reach nirvana at the same time by focusing all the energies at once?

And if each of the “Me”s live and interact with other “You”s how many basic “Me”s and “You”s are actually in existence with all others being part of the self group? How many basics? How many basic colors? How many basic essences… individuals (with countless self groups)?

Can I put this thought to rest by boiling it all down to two basic energies with everything a reflection of it? Of Male and Female? Can I further call them two halves of the same and attribute us all to God?

Did I get the expression of the equation right?

∞

Court jester, the hypothalamus

2005-12-16T18:07:00.000+05:30

hypothalamus (small part of the brain)= regulator of emotions

modern days = T.V = regulator of emotions

olden days = court jester = regulator of emotions

court jester = hypothalamus

To Mousyasia or Bust (pronounced mouzaeshia)

2005-11-25T00:39:00.000+05:30

A friend asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

Well... I want a planet of my own. A planet with luscious natural beauty, where all the other denizens are simulated (projected holograms) with a few AIs thrown in to do the menial work.

I want a house of my own with lotsa greenery around it.. and I want a herd of puppies.. I want a few farm animals like cows, goats, and horses... no chicken coz I know some ppl who would eat them up real quick.

And to top this B'day wishlist I want a teleporter so I can switch between the "real" world and my planet. *sigh*

What do you want for your birthday?

P.S - So she replies.."I shall draw u a nice picture of your planet and ur house and i'll draw li'l chicken and cross them out. I'll draw u a nice big gray cardboard box with teleporter written on it" ... *sigh*

Flat Discount Rate - Buy Humanity at the best and lowest price ever!!!!

2005-10-26T11:31:00.000+05:30

We've finally done it ladies and gentlemen!! Won't you put your hands together for we have all now reached a fantastic milestone!

First ofcourse, we paid for water... then we exceeded our own expectations and sold each other dung and waste products for a very good discounted price.

Then came oxygen bars.. very pricey affair indeed .. but pure air is such precious commodity nowadays one can hardly blame us for charging a good price for fresh air.

But now... my god! ..now ...we have smashed all records!! Now you can buy yourself some good old fashioned "helping hands" and "humanity" for prices as low as Rs.15* !!

Can't believe it?! Why then read on...

* Prices are subject to change. Conditions Apply.

FWD: Factory!

2005-10-25T11:12:00.000+05:30

I wonder where fwds are generated....

Is there a run down building in the middle of nowhere where "all the lonely people" belong...where they are hired to create fwds?

And do they set it rolling and see how far it goes?

Do they get performance appriasals based on how far it reached (in terms of geography) or how many times it got sent to the same ppl over and over again till they killed themselves or maybe the parameter is how long the fwd floated... some people probably thought they have finally seen enough of a particular forward when !BAM! its hits them again two years later... (probably what made them kill themselves!) And will this be called reusability in that dingy factory?

Harmony

2005-10-20T15:57:00.000+05:30

To express emotion with logic
To temper irrational impulses with reason
To nurture creativity with structure and discipline
This be the true challenge and true success