"Tell me that you are only for me."
"Yes," she answers,
"And also only for that nameless flower."
Mentor. Father-figure. Partner in mischief. Stereotypical wise old man. Boss.
He meant all these things for me and more. Above all, he meant hope, for me and countless others from all walks of life.
A typical interaction with him would be like the lines above. You can demand anything from him.. and he responds.. with acceptance, respect, and a zinger following the "yes", which expands the perspective and humbles you.
Now I'm finding him in me and in all things around me. I think I now understand life and death, and their relation to each other to some extent.
My work with rural women has taught me:
- That meeting with all the people in the village, once a month, is an integral part of village councils (simple enough.. but does not happen as fairly or often as it is supposed to)
- Networking with your representatives in the governance and administration bodies is very useful
- You don’t need to hold a post in governance to have power to change things (They shared that their main aim of standing for elections were to affect social change and develop their village’s infrastructure. Now, many of them are no longer holding a formal post in the council but no way in hell does that stop them from continuing to affect social change. They shared the power of networking and representing the wish of the people as a social representative.)
Also, I think somewhere, the government is also looking for friendly, conscious citizen to partner with to make its work easier. (yeah I still have my rose tinted glasses on) J
So, I don’t see why the same model can’t be (or atleast tried) on scale. Let us suppose you are a, corporator, representing your Ward in a metro like Bangalore.
Let us say you break down your ward area further into areas and further into zones, each with a manageable number of population (what is a manageable number is determined by your resources).
Ward > Area > Zone
Would 6 months be enough (of a 5 year term) for you to get a basic profile (name, occupation, contact details) of each person in each zone in your ward?
How nice would it be then to hold Ward council meetings zone-wise to truly represent those who have voted for you?
HOLD IT! Reality check. What are the constraints?
1. Time people would be willing to invest in coming to your “meeting”
2. Money / logistical problems to come to the meeting
3. Managing to actually give all present a fair hearing
Thankfully as I’m not communicating this in a formal proposal, I can afford to overlook logical loopholes (I’m sure there will be others who have a skill to spot them) and allow flight of fancy to take me a little further into hypothetical solutions to these.
1. Time willingly spent to work WITH your government is not something that will happen over night but maybe, just maybe, getting an email from your ward representative (who knew we even had one!) might rouse the curiosity of a few. For those who are not email-accessible, a phone call or sms inviting them to meet with their representative might just work. Having food at the meetings will certainly help (food always help :p )
2. Have you seen the free open top double decker buses that ferry across people who want to see Bangalore? Well that was a swell idea and I’m pretty sure that with the power of networking between corporates and corporators facilitating free travel to the meeting and back shouldn’t pose as much a problem (that is not counting if maybe there actually might be budget that can be set up for it)
3. A written comment form and scribes for those who cant write to ensure it is recorded for review. Addressing the most commonly occurring and (in the eyes of the corporator and his advisory committee) important suggestions/issues/feedback can be shared and review of the action items of the previous meeting can be done too (hopefully there will be something positive to share on this front!)
These were some of the thoughts that formed in my head today when I thought of being part of this administration/governance system that I so easily blame (atleast once a day). Then I got in touch with the fact that I needn’t BE in power to do this. I can, as a good citizen, offer my ideas and services to make this into a reality.
I don’t know how much this sounds like an illogical, bordering on sci-fi, plan but it gave me happiness to think that this is possible.
All our lives we are taught to be givers. So much so.. that sometimes.. even if all the people lay their best selves at our doorstep we become too "lazy" to open the door to see them.. to acknowledge them..
Too accustomed to 'giving' and feeling good about ourselves.. too busy playing 'victim' ('i only give and give.. nobody seems to care when it is my turn to get!')
.. sometimes some people can actually make us acknowledge that we are definitely recieving something from them .. but somehow it doesn't satisfy us.. we didn't get it when we really needed it from whom we needed it.. so why accept it now? Isn't is easier to go on playing 'victim' and rage against the world.. against ourselves that we are not getting what we 'deserve', that we are oh so alone?
It is worth looking at how similar being unable to receive is to being unable to give. selfish people versus 'selfless' people.. two sides of the same coin?
where is the balance the harmony? ..to be able to trust and say.. yes i have received this from you with gratitude.. thank you. and not feel obligated. just feel happy. loved.
Next time I find myself tripping all over myself trying to prove to myself I'm not selfish, I'm a sensitive soul who needs to ensure the other person is not put through any trouble because of me... i'll be sure to give my ear a hard yank.. and remind myself to smile.. and say thank you, i accept it.
i am swollen with learnings. i wrote about minilives and life seems to have taken it upon itself to satisfy my desire to know, learn, and live till i cry out "enough". i never thought i would say enough, but i realize now that i have to. For any of them to be of any worth i can't stuff it in my mouth like a stubborn child who jousts with food in an everyday battle. i have to allow each learning to be born. chew till it is digestible. digest till it is a part of my bloodstream. else it is all but a pile of shit.
it is not easy to chew. i remind myself and diligently chew on my learnings but i'm afflicted by the same condition as the child with its mouth, full of food, hanging open in wonder at a passing bird or a mooing cow.
i want to be a computer and not a hard disk. so i twist and turn my head refusing more learnings till i have swallowed (and hopefully not choked on) what i've already bitten off.
Liked colors red, green, and blue
As it made its way across the skies
And came into the web of lies
Touched it did with a baby’s wonder
All the things over and under
They gave it color and it glowed
As a multi-hued bubble it flowed
Till one day it thought, “I say!
There are too many colors in me that play!”
It kept a few and threw some out
Felt lighter, yet a shade of doubt
“I only reflect the colors I see
But what are the true hues of me?
When will I learn to dance alone?”
So thinking, it felt sad and forlorn
Came it did to firelight
Was entranced and stayed the night
The light shone through and helped it see
The beauty of its transparency
“No color in me does not mean I’m empty”
So knowing the bubble was joyful and glee
Such is the simple truth of life
Know thyself and know no strife
Many times we think we know
Forget we continue to learn on the go
May this bubble and its song
Remind us this all life long.
Street Sexual Harassment - Survivor? Perpetrator? or Spectator?
2 Comments Published by sou on Jul 30, 2008 at 8:27 AM.
The public on the street comprises of those who 'experience' street sexual harassment, i.e. the survivors; those who cause street sexual harassment i.e the perpetrators and those who witness street sexual harassment i.e the spectators.Blank Noise Spectators Special asks members of the public, both men and women to share what they witnessed. What was your first reaction? Was it to intervene? Was it to ignore? What did you do? What would you rather have done? Can you share your thoughts about being a spectator. If you have been a 'special spectator' , that is, intervened in the situation, please tell us how! Was it with wit and humor? Or did physically assault the 'perpetrator'? Did you walk away? Or call the cops? Or gather a crowd? Or see another spectator take charge of the situation and participate in any way.
Between preparing some questions for elected women and some others for kids getting ready to leave school and face the big bad world of work...I have been questioning myself and life some too (so what's new)
So what I’ve been learning lately from life is (apart from the fact that not having a corporate salary sucks) it truly is all about self worth. Your reality, the way you react to yourself and the world, and the way the world reacts to you. It’s all based on self worth.
How much do you think you're worth?
How do you know your self worth?
How do you go about increasing it?
(not false affirmation, validation, or celebrating oneself... I mean I really doubt that working for me)
What will you have to let go of to be happier and stronger as an individual with a healthy amount of self worth?
How do you decide what's a healthy amount of self worth and what is selfishness?
Answers to these seem a little long way off. My hope is I’m atleast asking the right questions.
