:::all things bright and beautiful:::

programmed to receive

I woke today morning feeling loved. I have never felt that before. Ever. I could feel all the love that people close to me have for me.. in all its warm glory. It was a lovely feeling. Me thinks me has finally learned to receive.. with grace.

All our lives we are taught to be givers. So much so.. that sometimes.. even if all the people lay their best selves at our doorstep we become too "lazy" to open the door to see them.. to acknowledge them..

Too accustomed to 'giving' and feeling good about ourselves.. too busy playing 'victim' ('i only give and give.. nobody seems to care when it is my turn to get!')

.. sometimes some people can actually make us acknowledge that we are definitely recieving something from them .. but somehow it doesn't satisfy us.. we didn't get it when we really needed it from whom we needed it.. so why accept it now? Isn't is easier to go on playing 'victim' and rage against the world.. against ourselves that we are not getting what we 'deserve', that we are oh so alone?

It is worth looking at how similar being unable to receive is to being unable to give. selfish people versus 'selfless' people.. two sides of the same coin?

where is the balance the harmony? ..to be able to trust and say.. yes i have received this from you with gratitude.. thank you. and not feel obligated. just feel happy. loved.

Next time I find myself tripping all over myself trying to prove to myself I'm not selfish, I'm a sensitive soul who needs to ensure the other person is not put through any trouble because of me... i'll be sure to give my ear a hard yank.. and remind myself to smile.. and say thank you, i accept it.

8 Responses to “programmed to receive”

  1. # Blogger Miniscule-thoughts

    hey! hey! hey!... nice to see a post after ages. And one oozing with positive energy, that too.  

  2. # Blogger fondfire

    Good thoughts! I think your insights about how "giving" can be self-delusional are pretty close to the mark. We all have to receive and give. We must sustain ourselves and then we'll have to give of ourselves, too. It's not effortless (either part, really), but it's so important to balance.

    And yes, good to see you again.  

  3. # Blogger Trauma Queen

    ah goood you had this realisation! now you can 'receive' all my love by meeting me more often :)  

  4. # Blogger Trauma Queen

    i was going thru my diary the other day and I came acros some of our dq chits...and this one loong discussion we had on 'paralellism' - when you feel evil and good at the same time

    yember them? ;)  

  5. # Blogger nish

    Beautiful!!!! Keep up the positivity... if not you can take external help for the yanking of ear :-)  

  6. # Blogger sou

    @ jen - yeah got bored of black.. toward the light again.. :)

    @ ff - i read an interesting bit somewhere.. about the universe being a spiral.. and respiration is really to "re-spire", to be one with or align oneself with the spiral (cosmos) again.. somehow sounded good and right.. and thought u'd be the best person to share it with coz i think u'd appreciate the beauty of the thought.

    @ tq - duh.. like.. how many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Ans: none till the light bulb's ready to change :p

    @ nish - thanks! :) will definitely remember your offer when my ears need it.  

  7. # Anonymous Anonymous

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  8. # Blogger Matiaoo

    A nice way of getting back to blogging!! I am sure Mr RC has a BIG role to play in making you feel what your blog says you feel :)  

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