All our lives we are taught to be givers. So much so.. that sometimes.. even if all the people lay their best selves at our doorstep we become too "lazy" to open the door to see them.. to acknowledge them..
Too accustomed to 'giving' and feeling good about ourselves.. too busy playing 'victim' ('i only give and give.. nobody seems to care when it is my turn to get!')
.. sometimes some people can actually make us acknowledge that we are definitely recieving something from them .. but somehow it doesn't satisfy us.. we didn't get it when we really needed it from whom we needed it.. so why accept it now? Isn't is easier to go on playing 'victim' and rage against the world.. against ourselves that we are not getting what we 'deserve', that we are oh so alone?
It is worth looking at how similar being unable to receive is to being unable to give. selfish people versus 'selfless' people.. two sides of the same coin?
where is the balance the harmony? ..to be able to trust and say.. yes i have received this from you with gratitude.. thank you. and not feel obligated. just feel happy. loved.
Next time I find myself tripping all over myself trying to prove to myself I'm not selfish, I'm a sensitive soul who needs to ensure the other person is not put through any trouble because of me... i'll be sure to give my ear a hard yank.. and remind myself to smile.. and say thank you, i accept it.