:::all things bright and beautiful:::


Insights

I have undone a knot! My problem is that i like people.. and because i'm mostly around people i like my defenses are weak.. i don't really need them. So when i come across B&Bs (bastards and bitches) i'm left bleeding.

Today i spent some time with people i dislike and as each minute passed by i could observe how my behavior was more inline with people who have good defenses rather than being typically me.

So is the solution to my problem to hang out with more people i dislike?

Dilemma -

More time with people i like = me happy but my defenses are weak
More time with people i dislike = me depressed but my defenses are strong

12 Responses to “Insights”

  1. # Blogger fondfire

    That's a very interesting dilemma and one I can relate to . . . I think I'm forced to spend a lot, lot, lot more time around people I dislike and people who do not understand me very well. (Though I still consider myself to like most people, I find the company of most people abrasive; perhaps I'm far too sensitive. Probably, I'm simply a bit more introverted than not.) I guess it may be beneficial to hone ones defenses against the abrassive. But you know, you'll develop those defenses quickly if you ever need them. Are you anticipating the need for them any time soon? Otherwise, it may not be so bad to be a little over-sensitive. If you're so sensitive, wouldn't you like to stay that way? It definitely brings rewards with it.  

  2. # Blogger Jenny

    Solution to your problem is to stick out the middle finger. See?

    Simple.  

  3. # Blogger Trauma Queen

    balance it out - hang it with both. u cant be happy all the time...and you cant be guarded all the time either.

    better still why dont u hang out with both simultaneously..that should be fun!

    n what about situations when the ppl u like start to morph into the unpleasant type and vice versa??? is that ugh or is that interesting???  

  4. # Blogger Lil Yang

    I'm confused. If you're with people you like, why would you care that your defenses are weak?  

  5. # Anonymous theanalogkid

    the solution is definitely not hanging out with ppl you dislike.
    soft or abrasive, everyone has something good to offer. the key is to not get yourself hurt in the process of learning. so instead of a trial and error approach towards people, take a methodical approach of analyzing characteristics.
    am asking you to take an engineered approach towards people which might not always work. sometimes, "eureka!" and serendipity works as well. :)
    use your brains, carry that armor and sword when you need them and only when you need them.  

  6. # Anonymous mcx

    the solution is simple. It all boils down to what kind of a person you want to be. as they too frequently say don't let others decide you. In collage I had a roommate who used to think I was naive and too innocent for my own good. we argued a lot about why I tolerate assholes and still continue to be friendly with class 1 pricks (pardon my french). He never understood my simple argument that it was how I chose to live my life. I liked the innocence left in me, I wanted my self to be capable of dealing with all kinds of people without being affected by them. My reward for that effort in tolerance? Some of those assholes got weary and actuall became fairly genuine friends while others simply got tired of trying to get to me. I never became stronger or weaker due to my efforts I just learned how to work with what I had at any given point in time.

    hope that helps as a response from me.  

  7. # Blogger plush

    hmm...i thought the defence mechanism was the same irrespective of whether u liked a person or not! i'd rather keep it that way ...the part of my brain which tells me to have "a strong defence" and the part which says..."this person is someone u like or u don't" ought to be two different things...don't think of one when u have the other thought on ur mind...no multitasking...one at a time...and if u can't do that..simple...just convince urself that u like someone u don't actually like and vice versa...just don't go weak on ur "all-set" mechanism...hmm...helps? no? forget it...  

  8. # Blogger Bikerdude

    Please hire me at Rs 10 per month to liberally dole out one tight slap per head to all the irritating people out there.

    Ok 5 Rs last.

    PS: Ammowru, only one posht per monthaa? What is this behaviouru?  

  9. # Blogger sou

    apologies! i don't konw what's wrong with me but i've just not been able to write. my brain has just been too scattered.

    fondfire - yeah being over-sensitive definitely brings rewards but.. damn it hurts!

    tq - ppl i like are almost always constantly morphing into the unpleasant type :|

    li'l yang - coz i'm "mostly" with ppl i like. the small percentage of the others is enough to sour and/or hurt

    mcx - as always we are on the same page. i'm still the nice girl to those i don't particularly like but sometimes you wonder if it is all worth it.. and why some ppl are such assholes and bring out the worst in you.

    plush - yeah girl even thinking about that constant guard is just so tiresome :|

    bikerdude - sold for 5 rs and one song! :)
    saary kaNdree.. yeno thale ne sari illa whatodoo  

  10. # Blogger plush

    oye...get up ya!! no post..no nothing!! hellloooo??  

  11. # Blogger mcx

    OI! what happened, why the silence. Miss your words.

    mcx  

  12. # Blogger sou

    I'm up! I'm awake! I'm talking again.. see?  

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