:::all things bright and beautiful:::

Aunty Social: A human creature who changes her (or his, but mostly her) appearance to ward off people and their attentions. She does this through a carefully structured plan and by paying attention to details.

Clothes: This is the crux of the strategy. Aunty Socials wear salwar kameezes that have a loose fit.

Color: Anything dowdy, dull or otherwise unappealing will do.

Make up: Now pay attention… Aunty Socials need to blend in so out with the lipstick and any other such things only “hussies” wear. Kajal is all right, if and only if it is applied lightly and ensures you do not look sick. Looking sick will definitely get you the attentions of lots of women whose maternal instincts are on an overdrive and the point of being Aunty Social is to shun any attention.

Personality: One of the merits of being Aunty Social is that you get to hide behind middle class morality and judge everybody as harshly as possible. Example: Women who wear lipsticks are “hussies”.

Language: As an Aunty Social you need to ensure you use conservative language. If the need arises do not hesitate to contact another woman…who is atleast partially Aunty Social and bitch about the situation and pass judgments.
A tip: What would add value to the invisibility aspect is speaking in long-winded sentences and expressing the simplest of thoughts in atleast a thousand words. One such example could be the title of this very post (How to be Aunty Social and other such insights into the human invisibility aspect); another is the length of this post itself.

Note: Having enjoyed the solitude, if and when you do decide to live in the world again and need human contact, you will need to revert to your own cheery self quite dramatically. The Aunty Social effect might take a while to wear off but it usually does.

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely of the schizoid Aunty Social persona of me. It has no connection whatsoever to the other seemingly sane identities that live within me.

15 Responses to “How to be Aunty Social and other such insights into the human invisibility aspect”

  1. # Blogger phreakv6

    frankly i dunno whats the object of the game .. wat does this virtual invisibility get you ?  

  2. # Anonymous sonie

    :))funny! you must also try writing on some other hidden personalities within you.For exmple: 'HOw to beat saroj khan or shiamak davar in dance'.  

  3. # Blogger Rohan D'souza

    hmmm... little aunty social, you will have to write entire book before the world will understand what is aunty social. with the past, the future and the nonsense.

    The concept is bright has a future.  

  4. # Anonymous Vinu

    I have an aunt who wears a saree, and a full hand, full back blouse that could be worn as a shirt by her hubby (and he surely does) and shes a bitch, talking about every woman she passes, she wears no makeup and so is a hussie.... Oh, my god am i being "aunty aunty social"... probably, the best way to beat her?  

  5. # Blogger sou

    yeah phreak..didn't know this post is actually something only the women will "get" when i wrote it.

    It's no game..just a way of disappearing from the world for a while..you can exist solely in your world and pass whatever judgements you want on all and sundry.

    More a state of mind...does this help?  

  6. # Blogger sou

    soooniiiieeeee... yeah will try letting the freestyle dancer out in the world sometime :-)  

  7. # Blogger sou

    Ro..read reply to phreak's comment..makes a good first chapter in the book..wot say?  

  8. # Blogger sou

    hey Vinu..thx for stopping by. It's pretty obvious ur a guy coz:

    a.your name (duh!)
    b.you didn't quite get the post..

    But it does sound like you know a 'khatharnaak' aunt :)  

  9. # Anonymous Vinu

    :)... right! i didnt get most of the post... commented on the little of what i did.

    'khatharnak' is putting it mild.. :)  

  10. # Blogger Naresh

    lol... thiz iz coool!  

  11. # Anonymous Chitty

    add a little glitter and "bling bling" and VOILA!
    you have all the parumitas, shubha's (not kumble,the other weirdo)and ekta kapoor pseud, aggresively maternal, aunties :))))

    oh, and they wear a loooot of make-up :)

    fully nice term only that was...still 'loffing'  

  12. # Anonymous Kitty!

    how about an article on the 'cool to be uncool' school?
    really gives people a good insight on invisible wannabes  

  13. # Blogger sou

    Hey Kitty Kat...

    Did think of an entire series on the human invisibility... but laziness happened... btw laziness is an excellent form of human invisibility (esp. useful for bloggers)


  14. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Good Post  

  15. # Anonymous Anonymous

    First of all, I am the original Aunty Social. I have been that for many years. I was also the first one online. Everyone else is copying me.
    What does Aunty Social wear? Jeans and tshirts. you dig?  

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