i realize i have to start somewhere if i'm ever gonna start this again. and maybe the best way is to not think at all but to just go ahead with it. to not pressurize it into being but just allow it to come forth in whatever form and be ready to accept it.
i am swollen with learnings. i wrote about minilives and life seems to have taken it upon itself to satisfy my desire to know, learn, and live till i cry out "enough". i never thought i would say enough, but i realize now that i have to. For any of them to be of any worth i can't stuff it in my mouth like a stubborn child who jousts with food in an everyday battle. i have to allow each learning to be born. chew till it is digestible. digest till it is a part of my bloodstream. else it is all but a pile of shit.
it is not easy to chew. i remind myself and diligently chew on my learnings but i'm afflicted by the same condition as the child with its mouth, full of food, hanging open in wonder at a passing bird or a mooing cow.
i want to be a computer and not a hard disk. so i twist and turn my head refusing more learnings till i have swallowed (and hopefully not choked on) what i've already bitten off.
i am swollen with learnings. i wrote about minilives and life seems to have taken it upon itself to satisfy my desire to know, learn, and live till i cry out "enough". i never thought i would say enough, but i realize now that i have to. For any of them to be of any worth i can't stuff it in my mouth like a stubborn child who jousts with food in an everyday battle. i have to allow each learning to be born. chew till it is digestible. digest till it is a part of my bloodstream. else it is all but a pile of shit.
it is not easy to chew. i remind myself and diligently chew on my learnings but i'm afflicted by the same condition as the child with its mouth, full of food, hanging open in wonder at a passing bird or a mooing cow.
i want to be a computer and not a hard disk. so i twist and turn my head refusing more learnings till i have swallowed (and hopefully not choked on) what i've already bitten off.
