A bit late but an update nevertheless
How was the intervention?
Gooood.
How many people turned up?
Almost 30! that's what made it gooood.
How was it different this time?
We are slowly learning what works best and what doesn't. The more interventions i go to the more i understand my own perspectives and thoughts about things. They are changing slowly and are becoming more in tune with what Jasmeen wants to achieve through BNP.
What needs to change?
It was heartening to see a good number of male volunteers. But we seemed to work as two different groups raising awareness for the same cause. This needs to change. We need to work together as a team. We women who are on 'performance mode' are asked what BNP is and what we are trying to do through it by people . The men can take over the explaining and complement our non-verbal action with their facts and details.
How was the intervention?
Gooood.
How many people turned up?
Almost 30! that's what made it gooood.
How was it different this time?
We are slowly learning what works best and what doesn't. The more interventions i go to the more i understand my own perspectives and thoughts about things. They are changing slowly and are becoming more in tune with what Jasmeen wants to achieve through BNP.
What needs to change?
It was heartening to see a good number of male volunteers. But we seemed to work as two different groups raising awareness for the same cause. This needs to change. We need to work together as a team. We women who are on 'performance mode' are asked what BNP is and what we are trying to do through it by people . The men can take over the explaining and complement our non-verbal action with their facts and details.
ive herd from the bnp hyd team that
- very few females participate...apparently they see 'eve teasing' as a non issue
- a lotta guys join with the purpose of meeting girls/finding dates
how dyu think this can be tackled?
I would be very glad to learn if even a small number of women participated. Some women is better than no women. And your consistent presence and voice in these interventions is amazing. I applaud all of your efforts and desire to have the courage and creativity that you have. I want to be able to do things like that one day.
I think you and BNP are doing great things for women's causes. I am so proud and tell other people about what you're doing.
-Trauma queen: how dyu think this can be tackled?
I would suggest that the guys need to be inducted to the group through a girl. That should cut the possibility of me ever joining but it will get the number of strays down considerably.
"a lotta guys join with the purpose of meeting girls/finding dates"
i am disheartened by this statement not because i don't think it true but because i think its perfectly legitimate for any guy to try and place him in a social gathering where he has the chance of meeting other of his opposite sex. Of course you the organizers of the meeting have every right to control who gets to get in to control the agenda of the meeting.
I have a few more thoughts on this
1) Any single guy or girl has the right to hit on and court any other single girl or guy. To allow for this there should be freedom to interact and make once case to the opposite sex so to speak. I believe this to be a natural right.
2) Any social occasion should be open ground for wooing. Including funerals. i don't agree with people being high nosed about it.
3) I was brought up largely with the whole "dating" thing. I personally have hit on a handful of people with mixed results. I have been honest and upfront with my intentions and honestly it has always been a positive experience. meaning even all of the rejections (most of them were :))have been a positive experience.
4) I have an estranged ex who despite having chosen to break it off with me still insists that i should be stuck on her despite having no intention of ever reciprocating the feeling. whats with women and men and needing each other to be stuck on them? Pardon the expression but what with the whole whose on top thing?
3) I am going to make a largely generalized statement here that i am probably going to regret. I don't think men or women in our social setup know how to deal this whole subject. I have seen too many examples of men and women being piggish about it.
Of course this is my just my opinion and totally out of context but would like to hear a few other peoples on these topics.
mcx
What an interesting debate!
tq it is sad that hyd women don't seem to think it an important enough issue for them to do sth about.
We can def do two things to help change this:
1. start the college BNP chapters a lot more aggressively in hyd coz i'm sure there would be plenty women in universities who would surely participate.. and if they set the trend and it gets enuf press coverage maybe the hyd women might follow suit.
2. we, as in women from other cities, who can spare the time energy and money can go to hyd and do an intervention there! It's not an extremely 'practical' idea but i'm sure if we can raise a few pulses (esp. media pulses) the women there won't be so indifferent anymore.
reg the men.. well it really isn't that much of an issue.. if it gets them to BNP interventions then why not I say!
but yes if there are problems with creeps then i don't see why they can't be told in a very direct, firm yet polite manner that most women who come there have a history with the male kind which is none too nice and the BNP meeting might not be really conducive to finding dates :)
maybe the problem lies with not having a strong core team or a single person whose authority is understood and accepted.. you know who's 'rules'/'limits' will be followed and respected.
Let me make my excuses :) I have a severe cold, am groggy and liberally hallucinating as a reindeer on absinthe. So pardon the missing words and marauding sentences. :)
bugsoutime: u mean heroines? or u all are leander's fans?
keep BNPing. the world needs it!
mcx: i get this feeling that
a) u really have a nasty cold
b) you love posting comments that might be deemed as controversial, just for the heck of it
i cannot disagree with ur statement that any grounds can make for a good dating ground funerals also, u say??) reminds me of this serial killer test i've heard about...ok i'm digressing)
but i have a porblem with people (n im not saynig men only) who join BNP to simply woo women...they r LEAST interested in the cause...they think BNP is all hogwash..but they dig the chicks..so they 'pretend'. Pretense of any kind is never nice, don't u think. It's a different story altogether if u r there for the reason, n perhaps eventually land up meeting sumone...at least u aint pretending.
sou - bnp hyd has interventions now n then...n they do a good job from what i heard..but the whole thing of women not wanting to accept street harassment as an issue but something "every girl has just gotta deal with..what's your problem" kinda bothered me...
Trauma Queen even the gods need a devil and there is no proper discourse with out disagreement. So I do my part : ) but do i do it for attention? of course not and you will have to take my word on that for i have no other proof. Plus i dislike the perch people have put the title "feminist" on, somehow it feels to be eligible to the title, you must first and foremost be a women and an intellectual to boot. Or may be the reverse is true, may be some want the tag only to be considered an intellectual. Controversial? may be but i do think feminism has been vandalized and reduced to cheap smokes, an instant identity (saves the bother of having to find one yourself)and being a quick fix to the rebel without a cause syndrome. it was a great movement, it served a purpose at a certain given time in history. I say invent something new. Lets rid ourself of these old shackles and build new ideas and momentum that are independent, universal(hope fully you will let men join despite their evil ways) and truly impartial. what is the risk if we were not to do this and still cling to old ideas? Stagnation turns even the most potent of elixirs to the vilest venom. Bewarned!
mcx
PS: couldn't resist :)sou would you like me to stop stalking your blog now? (muhahaha my evilest laugh) Am cured of my cold for the fires of hell now warm me. :)
@ jedi - grr... (but your comment was good coz it made me learn about hero, the greek girl)
@ tq - see most ppl that we at BNP are trying to get some awareness across to, are dense #$%^heads (women incl.) so if some men want to join for all the wrong reasons, why not?
I'm sure they don't have some super deafness weapon.. so i'm sure atleast one or two li'l things about harassment and how/why it's wrong does get across to them, right? that's almost as much as we achieve with any male passerby who'd rather ogle at the BNP women than hear what they're saying!
yes pretense is sick but i feel if it improves our numbers and leaves those men with atleast one or two points of gyaan.. then i think it's OK.
as to the women trying to pass of being harassed as a part and parcel of life .. it bothers me a whole lot infact that we have such dismal numbers in all cities. why aren't more women raising their voice? who knows! but there is hope tht it'll change right? ;)
@ mcx - hmm.. leave your dramatic defences out willya? ur not stalking my blog anymore than i'm stalking yours :p
@sou: why not more women.. prob coz a. we already have pretty strict laws regarding this, except not many know about them, they are not really implemented, and b. most women have hmm got habituated to it and have their own defense mechanishs (pins, bag across chest, looking down, wearing dowdy clothes),all regressive mechanisms, but no other real options.. just step out of the cities and see women still covering their heads, walking behind men, panchayats asking rapists to pay 4000 inr as fine, marry one girl, get one free...
i dont know how far bnp will go and more importantly whether it will make a difference, but if u dont try, u will never know, but u probably already know this :)
as for the guys who join bnp for whatever reasons, those guys are probably not the target audience..
you have been tagged to write about the 9 best scenes...
good work sou and the bnp team...i just wish we needn't have to actually "educate" ppl about the issue..i thot it was basic common sense...something called morality...hmmm...i guess the whole problem arises when the relativity factor steps in...
for some reason i dig the equal number of Os in the first 2 goods. g luck with BNP.