I went through this crappy thing yesterday evening that totally bummed me out. I took an auto to my place. The driver was the most easy to talk to, mature, intelligent, philosophical guy i've had the pleasure of traveling with. He so totally cheered me up!
One of the things that really made me happy was the fact that intelligence is never the prerogative of any "one" kind of peoples.. and every time i 'connect' with somebody with whom i seemingly have no common ground i feel so blessed and secure that i haven't really alienated myself from the rest of them/us. (ofcourse sometimes i feel it's all a nice delusion where i affirm some feelings of superiority by thinking i'm different from anyone else at all)
some how.. for the past few weeks i've been seeing a lot of "there's hope for humanity yet" kind of affirming events. It scares me.
As JD Salinger puts it ""I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
One of the things that really made me happy was the fact that intelligence is never the prerogative of any "one" kind of peoples.. and every time i 'connect' with somebody with whom i seemingly have no common ground i feel so blessed and secure that i haven't really alienated myself from the rest of them/us. (ofcourse sometimes i feel it's all a nice delusion where i affirm some feelings of superiority by thinking i'm different from anyone else at all)
some how.. for the past few weeks i've been seeing a lot of "there's hope for humanity yet" kind of affirming events. It scares me.
As JD Salinger puts it ""I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
its entirely normal to feel that way when finally things go your way after wallowing in depression and mental trauma. but there is nothing to be scared about it. no one around did anything different, its just your acts, your perception that has changed now. so dont be paranoid that u r plotted to be happy. you are happy because its meant to be. :)
"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
btw.. what is "paranoiac in reverse"? reminds me of a woody allen quote.. "I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.".. if thats wat it means.. then u have used the salinger quote in the wrong context here :)
I like words and love sentences(don't even think about what i do with a complete paragraph)and this has got to be the best sentence i have heard in a while.
"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
I can relate to this cause I have a friend who calls me up everyday with just the same kind of thoughts.
:-)
"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
...i would like to add to that...
"plotting to make me happy... and then plotting to screw my happiness there-after"
As much as I believe that the world at large has nothing worthwhile to offer - besides incessant demands - instances such as the auto-driver one aren't hard to come by... making you feel like the world ain't all that a bad place to live in. Not wanting to sound like your fairy godmother, but there is a lot as far as humanity around us is concerned. And this coming from someone like me - who is soaked in negativity and pessimism most part of the time - is an assurance.
I get that similar happiness at times but I could never communicate it in an understandable way to anyone. I am glad you did it.
Go cherish!
And it's also good that you logged it so that you can look back sometime in future and feel happy again. I should have done the same. Now I forgot a lot of those happy instances :|
I think the Salinger quote is good. A "paranoiac" feels that people are plotting against them. Well, it's kinda reversed if you feel people are plotting for you.
I actually have not had a series of such events in a really long time, sou, and I miss it. I used to be extremely happy-go-lucky. Not all that long ago, in fact. And now that feels like forever ago . . . :-p I miss it very much.
May you always feel a little paranoid-in-reverse! ;-) It's much better than most of the alternatives . . .
@kid - wallowing..depression.. mental trauma.. :O was that me!??!?
fondfire is right. paranoia is when u suspect everyone's out to harm you .. in reverse, it's suspecting everyone's out to do you good.
@ mcx - i like words too.. i like them for how they roll off my tongue.. and the vibration of their sounds. u must chk out her blog if u like words
@ jenny - hmmm.. u sound like a wannabe pessimistic person :) but yeah the fear of believing in the "good" of anything i totally understand.
@ tweety - u can log alllll the happy stuff from now on and we shall all read and sigh together. :)
@ fondfire - yeah while it's great to see "right" and "good" things.. i feel like this dog who has been kicked around too often so when somebody's finally showing it kindness it takes a long time for it to realize what precisely is being offered. :|
hmm.. would you have the same reverse paranoia and optimism for humanity if the sequence of events were the other way round ?
Ah, yes, I am happy to see that you are being plotted against to have hope for humanity. :) You and I seem a lot alike, which means that you might also be a bit prone toward the bouts of pessimism from time to time. Isn't it glorious then, when you can have those moments that things can be different? I love that - those punctuated moments against a backdrop of blah. It makes them so much more special.
@ oz - no i probably wouldn't have. But like i said.. there have been a series of such events (one event would never prompt me to write a post on it! no way!)
@ autogato - "punctuated moments against a backdrop of blah" woo.. maybe the dissertation thingie has really brought out the creative writer in you. i LOVE that phrase!
auto-drivers...actually strangers...they r one of a kind...they manage to bog us down when everything is going good and cheer us up when the chips r down....a la alanis....(okie..plz forgive my attempt at french there if its wrong...)...i guess its when we don't expect and things happen that it hits us....but yea...auto-drivers...gotta lov them....:).
yenti aunty?
is this your way of getting people to explain the meaning of the quote to you? hmmmmm ;)
so what was the convo you had with the auto-driver...i agree that sum of these auto dudes r full to mast (tho most of them bug the hell out of me)
as for plots and sub-plots, if ever have the patience, do read 'the alchemist'.
Sou - feel free to use the phrase whenever you like!!!
Dissertation writing may have brought out the creativity in a round about way. Dissertation writing, you see, has to be the most BORING type of writing. I'm not kidding. It has to be super straight forward - no frills or thrills. So after working on that for so long, the real me must have come back out!!!
@sou: totally a wannabe pessimistic person. That's why I am happily depressed most of the time :-)
@ plush - yeah! auto drivers are agents of life ..they balance out good and bad in your life :p
@tq - ;) you got me there! i did want to see how ppl will react to the quote.
the auto driver and i were analyzing the base flaws in ppl esp ppl in b'lore and agreed upon what personality traits can change society for the better.
May you no longer be kicked. ;-)
(I think I know the feeling, though thankfully it's been a while since I was being kicked around so much . . .)