Modern Indian norms on morality and sexuality are eerily similar to those from Victorian England. In contrast, ancient Indian cultural records are replete with references to an open-minded, permissive society. (For example, Khajuraho, and Kama Sutra - can you imagine the controversy if someone put figures of naked men and women on their front gate today?) Could it be that we're holding on to a colonial legacy and not aware of it?
~ so said ameet on somebody's blog.
~ so said ameet on somebody's blog.
*cartoony orchestra*
*twangy nasal voice*
Haaaappy Birday to you happy birday to you
happy birday happy birday happy birday tooooo yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaa...
*Andy Koffman*
Thankyou very much!
*twangy nasal voice*
Haaaappy Birday to you happy birday to you
happy birday happy birday happy birday tooooo yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaa...
*Andy Koffman*
Thankyou very much!
Ever thought they could sound Beatlesque’?
I know a mouse
And he hasn't got a house
I don't know why
I call him Gerald
He's getting rather old
But he's a good mouse
I know a mouse
And he hasn't got a house
I don't know why
I call him Gerald
He's getting rather old
But he's a good mouse
If creation has to take place there has to be fertilization and fruition..
Fertilized thought/energy/egg – Universe
Unfertilized thought/energy/period – Blank verse?
Fertilized thought/energy/egg – Universe
Unfertilized thought/energy/period – Blank verse?
The question is pouring in from everywhere... there is a collective
"ok.. now what" so, well.. here's what -
1. The blogs in themselves were the first step. All the women I'm sure will understand and agree why it is such a relief to just talk about it. For those to whom abuse on the streets is not such an immediate reality - It's great for us women, who have undergone trauma on the streets so often, to just express our emotions and share them with somebody who won't judge and criticize you instead of the perpetrators.
2. The blogs in themselves were the second step too. People who haven't undergone harassment on the streets appreciate women who are brave and hit back in what ever way they can. It is bloody scary for women to oppose the perpetrator because our previous experience has taught us that everybody (the entire society) seemingly sides with the perpetrator.. how can you be brave when you have a mental picture of your parents/friends/all the people who matter asking you "why didn't you just ignore it?" and "what will you do if he returns with a big gang the next time?"
This is why the blogs help... from now on.. (hopefully) each of us women when harassed can take courage from the fact that there is a sizable number of men and women who are supporting, helping, and encouraging you to be brave.
3. Read this where annie demarcates quite clearly what is harassment and what is not.. if nothing else it gives women a clear indication as to how much can and should be tolerated (this is ofcourse by no means a set-in-cement rule that you can live by.. it is just a good indicator)
How is this going to help? Well having gray areas in what can be termed harassment is not going to help us or the police/lawmakers to take strict action. If we take this list to the local police/lawyers and can understand in precise terms what the punishment meted out in each case is then it helps a LOT! If it doesn't help bring these perpetrators to justice, atleast it will scare them off when they harass you and you throw what exact punishment they can expect according to "so and so" police inspector/ hotshot lawyer.
This is just the start of this list... sensitisation programs in schools and colleges (for both boys and girls), trying to get police to start a harassment cell... these are big dreams.. but I hope I have conveyed that they are not impossible. They are quite achievable, rational, and practical. Will these eradicate the problem of harassment? Hell no! Will these help women feel braver when harassed and help the harassment reduce? You bet!
Some post scripts -
1. I'm so glad so many many many women have broken their silence and participated.
2. Thank you to all the men who have read the blogs/commented on them/ wrote posts for the blogathon.
3. A big apology to all the nice guys who read the blogs and were offended because most blogs used the words 'creeps', 'perpetrators', 'abusers' as interchangeable with the word 'men'. Please understand we use the word 'men' only because there are huge number of men who are the abusers/creeps/perpetrators. The posts were in no way meant to be a war against any sex. Still I'm am sorry if any of you were offended.
"ok.. now what" so, well.. here's what -
1. The blogs in themselves were the first step. All the women I'm sure will understand and agree why it is such a relief to just talk about it. For those to whom abuse on the streets is not such an immediate reality - It's great for us women, who have undergone trauma on the streets so often, to just express our emotions and share them with somebody who won't judge and criticize you instead of the perpetrators.
2. The blogs in themselves were the second step too. People who haven't undergone harassment on the streets appreciate women who are brave and hit back in what ever way they can. It is bloody scary for women to oppose the perpetrator because our previous experience has taught us that everybody (the entire society) seemingly sides with the perpetrator.. how can you be brave when you have a mental picture of your parents/friends/all the people who matter asking you "why didn't you just ignore it?" and "what will you do if he returns with a big gang the next time?"
This is why the blogs help... from now on.. (hopefully) each of us women when harassed can take courage from the fact that there is a sizable number of men and women who are supporting, helping, and encouraging you to be brave.
3. Read this where annie demarcates quite clearly what is harassment and what is not.. if nothing else it gives women a clear indication as to how much can and should be tolerated (this is ofcourse by no means a set-in-cement rule that you can live by.. it is just a good indicator)
How is this going to help? Well having gray areas in what can be termed harassment is not going to help us or the police/lawmakers to take strict action. If we take this list to the local police/lawyers and can understand in precise terms what the punishment meted out in each case is then it helps a LOT! If it doesn't help bring these perpetrators to justice, atleast it will scare them off when they harass you and you throw what exact punishment they can expect according to "so and so" police inspector/ hotshot lawyer.
This is just the start of this list... sensitisation programs in schools and colleges (for both boys and girls), trying to get police to start a harassment cell... these are big dreams.. but I hope I have conveyed that they are not impossible. They are quite achievable, rational, and practical. Will these eradicate the problem of harassment? Hell no! Will these help women feel braver when harassed and help the harassment reduce? You bet!
Some post scripts -
1. I'm so glad so many many many women have broken their silence and participated.
2. Thank you to all the men who have read the blogs/commented on them/ wrote posts for the blogathon.
3. A big apology to all the nice guys who read the blogs and were offended because most blogs used the words 'creeps', 'perpetrators', 'abusers' as interchangeable with the word 'men'. Please understand we use the word 'men' only because there are huge number of men who are the abusers/creeps/perpetrators. The posts were in no way meant to be a war against any sex. Still I'm am sorry if any of you were offended.
Sorry I can't move on.. I don't want to move on..
Story after story .. blog after blog... I can't help but wonder.. why have we women kept quite for so long?? How easy will it be for us to forget about the token gesture we made for the blogathon.. and be content in convincing ourselves "our work is done" "I did what I could" ... well you could always wait to do something more the next time you are abused.. but do you want to wait for that unfortunate moment to make your next contribution??
Keep blogging about this.. keep increasing the circle of bloggers who are aware that blank noise project exists so we can make a co-ordinated effort to start something that will make a lasting impact.
Story after story .. blog after blog... I can't help but wonder.. why have we women kept quite for so long?? How easy will it be for us to forget about the token gesture we made for the blogathon.. and be content in convincing ourselves "our work is done" "I did what I could" ... well you could always wait to do something more the next time you are abused.. but do you want to wait for that unfortunate moment to make your next contribution??
Keep blogging about this.. keep increasing the circle of bloggers who are aware that blank noise project exists so we can make a co-ordinated effort to start something that will make a lasting impact.
Started to write about harassment on the streets... started to write about the stares that see you naked, innocent touches that accidentally happen to be at your privates, the lewd comments and the whistling that is meant to be all in appreciation of beauty, and the reaction of the people who are supposed to comfort you, whose first instinct is to say "you asked for it".. happened to read this before I could finish. Please read this post. It says all that I would've ever liked to and more.
knownturf.blogspot.com
knownturf.blogspot.com
As part of the blanknoise project blogathon:
#1 - I just had a conversation with a friend about dowry. Yes, it happens.. not in obscure rural regions, not in poor uneducated pockets of society. It happens in highly educated, urban families. If money (and/or other tangibles) are given without the groom or his family asking for it.. does it make it something other than dowry?? Are you guilty of having accepted dowry in any form?
#2 – I heard this news two nights ago. Meher Bhargava was shot coz she tried to raise her voice against four drunken men who passed lewd comments on her daughter-in-law.
#3 – I had the misfortune of meeting a person who opined it is not that easy to rape a woman.. therefore women who are raped must be co-operating with these men who commit the act.
# 4 – Some women are “allowed” to work provided they can also manage the house chores.
# 5 – Many parents do not like their daughters studying a lot as it makes them too “independent”. God forbid they should think for themselves!
#6 – Many urban parents push their daughters to study well just so it looks good on their matrimonial portfolio.
These are just a few… too few…
So what can you do about it?
If you are a woman, you can start by sensitising the men around you. Needn’t be on a grand scale, just your father, brother, boyfriend, husband, best friend, son will do. Be aware of your surroundings. Take responsibility for your safety.
If you are a man, be aware of the trauma women go through because of the callousness of men. More importantly, understand that the answer is not imposing rules on women. Even women who cover themselves head to toe and have the most docile demeanour get teased and raped and abused. You can start by changing your attitude to eve teasing. No woman “asks” to be humiliated, abused, and teased. No woman.
Finally, women’s day should be about pampering women… do something nice for the women you know.
#1 - I just had a conversation with a friend about dowry. Yes, it happens.. not in obscure rural regions, not in poor uneducated pockets of society. It happens in highly educated, urban families. If money (and/or other tangibles) are given without the groom or his family asking for it.. does it make it something other than dowry?? Are you guilty of having accepted dowry in any form?
#2 – I heard this news two nights ago. Meher Bhargava was shot coz she tried to raise her voice against four drunken men who passed lewd comments on her daughter-in-law.
#3 – I had the misfortune of meeting a person who opined it is not that easy to rape a woman.. therefore women who are raped must be co-operating with these men who commit the act.
# 4 – Some women are “allowed” to work provided they can also manage the house chores.
# 5 – Many parents do not like their daughters studying a lot as it makes them too “independent”. God forbid they should think for themselves!
#6 – Many urban parents push their daughters to study well just so it looks good on their matrimonial portfolio.
These are just a few… too few…
So what can you do about it?
If you are a woman, you can start by sensitising the men around you. Needn’t be on a grand scale, just your father, brother, boyfriend, husband, best friend, son will do. Be aware of your surroundings. Take responsibility for your safety.
If you are a man, be aware of the trauma women go through because of the callousness of men. More importantly, understand that the answer is not imposing rules on women. Even women who cover themselves head to toe and have the most docile demeanour get teased and raped and abused. You can start by changing your attitude to eve teasing. No woman “asks” to be humiliated, abused, and teased. No woman.
Finally, women’s day should be about pampering women… do something nice for the women you know.
A few association words for those who want a quick version of this post :
In detail:
Human beings when thought of from a macro perspective are not very different from sheep. They are quite content to know their nose is stuck into the ass of the sheep who is walking before them. The golden rule I've heard once too often .. if sth was good enough for our forefather's generation it certainly has to be good enough for us. Some of us sheep though have edged to the periphery and can see some definite disadvantages of sticking our nose up in somebody's ass. The periphery sheep know the dumb patterns sheep fall into and the overwhelming need for self preservation that drives the central herd along...
... but this sheep has a touch of amnesia.. err.. where are we headed again?
- Herd mentality
- People on the periphery
- Destination unknown
In detail:
Human beings when thought of from a macro perspective are not very different from sheep. They are quite content to know their nose is stuck into the ass of the sheep who is walking before them. The golden rule I've heard once too often .. if sth was good enough for our forefather's generation it certainly has to be good enough for us. Some of us sheep though have edged to the periphery and can see some definite disadvantages of sticking our nose up in somebody's ass. The periphery sheep know the dumb patterns sheep fall into and the overwhelming need for self preservation that drives the central herd along...
... but this sheep has a touch of amnesia.. err.. where are we headed again?
